Iris
by bombalurima
Summary: An AU exploring the idea of Mai being pregnant with Zuko's child during the events of The Boiling Rock, and all that it changes, effects, and means-both bitter and sweet.
1. Chapter 1

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_A/N: This fic is based on something that Rawles once did, a 'theory' she cooked up about Mai being pregnant during the time she confronts Zuko at the Boiling Rock-for it explains why The Warden is so PO'ed at him, why Mai is __really_ angry at him, the 'she doesn't need any protection' line, etc.

I wish I could find it, and once I re-discover it, I'll post it here. She was entirely BSing the whole thing, of course, and you can completely tell. But the idea itself set me to thinking...and thus, this fic was born.

Some **Notes:**

**Plot:** This is an on-going, multi-chapter fic exploring the idea of Mai truly becoming pregnant with Zuko's child sometime before the events of The Boiling Rock (in my version, right after 'The Beach')...naturally, the fic will span from there to post-series.

**Characters:** Though of course the main center will be Mai (primarily), Zuko and Ty Lee will also be large main characters, along with Azula, Iroh, Aang, and some others.

**Pairing:** Well, duh. Kataang as well.

**Rating:** T, for huge, atomic-bomb sized hints of sex and some other stuff, I suppose.

**Dedication:**_This fic is dedicated 100% to my KF mommy, Sugarqueen. Despite having me in a casino and being unaware of who my birth father is, she really is the best mom I could ever ask for. Even though she has her own *ahem* personal problems, she still never fails to be a warm, giving, and all-around wonderful mother. This fic is for her._

**Fair Warning:** I feel as if this first chapter is going to be viewed as incredibly slow. For the most part, it's mostly just Maiko fluff. However, I hope it doesn't turn you off from the rest of the fic-which I promrise, will get better.

* * *

Mai awoke to the sound of the ocean, gulls crying somewhere in the distance, and Zuko snoring.

Ordinarily, the fact that someone was breathing right into her ear would have been a cause for annoyance. But given the current situation, and just what had caused it, a heated blush arose on her pale skin instead.

She rolled over, her still faintly sweat-sticky body clinging to the sheets for a second. She lay tangled in them, hair a mess, face flushed, and completely naked. Any idiot who walked into the room at that moment would be able to tell just all that had unfolded the previous night.

And what a night it had been. Mai's mind whirled and buzzed with the memories, of the ill-fated party that she, Zuko, Azula, and Ty Lee had attended, of the growing friction between her and her boyfriend there, the tension that eventually caused them both to snap, and the talk the four of them had held around the fireside afterwards…

Somehow, despite how chaotic trashing Chan and Ruon-Jian's stupid party had been, it only dimly registered in the record of the previous night in the back of Mai's mind. Then again, considering what had happened directly afterwards, perhaps that was only to be expected.

__

* * *

_Azula was reliving every glorious moment of her revenge, bragging and gloating away in a loud, crowing voice about the look on Chan's face, about the horrified screams of the other party-goers, about how sweet a taste victory truly could be, even if it was over something as trivial as it had been. Ty Lee, of course, bobbed along behind her, agreeing in her chirping little voice with everything the princess said. Such was the norm._

_Mai and Zuko walked a bit behind the two, their hands intertwined. Now that the adrenaline rush that wrecking the party had faded, Zuko had fallen into a quiet state. She knew that this meant he was thinking about something, and she didn't pry—when he was ready to talk, he would. Still, that night had been a rough one for him—no doubt he was done feeling anything too extreme for the time. He needed a good night's sleep._

_So she did she, come to think of it. It had been an exhausting day, needless to say, and the thought of cool silk sheets and the sound of the ocean pounding away in the background to lull her to sleep was sounding very appealing._

_The four of them trekked into the tiny beach house that they were staying at—by the looks of it, Lo and Li had already headed off to bed, mercifully. The two old women shared a room, but besides theirs, there was only three other separate bedrooms. Azula had already laid claim to one on her own, and Zuko took the other, leaving Mai and Ty Lee as roommates, something that irritated the former and thrilled the latter._

_"I'll see you all in the morning," Azula bade them goodnight briskly, before stepping off to her room._

_"Goodnight Azula!" Ty Lee said. "And goodnight to you too, Zuko!" With that, she turned and skipped off to her own room. Mai made to follow after her—but was halted by Zuko reaching out and grabbing ahold of her wrist._

_She turned, confusion shooting through the sleepy numbness that had fallen over her normally sharp mind. "Zuko? Is something the ma-"_

_She did not get to finished her question, for in the next moment; he had pulled her to him and pressed a deep, near-consuming kiss to her lips. She gasped slightly, which only encouraged him to deepen the kiss…on an instinct, her fingers tangled in his messy dark hair, holding him to her._

_Zuko only pulled away to murmur hoarsely into her ear, "Stay with me tonight….please…"_

_Mai knew what was underlying in his words, and the thought sent a shiver up her spine. The wordless promise of events yet to come stirred up something inside of her so much that despite her previous weariness, her body felt fully alert now._

_She looked over her shoulder only to see Ty Lee hovering in the doorway of their room, her eyes enormous as she watched the two lovers, a silent question in her gaze. Obviously, Zuko didn't sense the other girl's lingering presence as he took Mai's hand and pressed hot, moist kisses to her fingers, trailing down across her palm to her wrist, which elicited a shiver from the dark-haired girl._

_Mai answered Ty Lee and Zuko in the same moment when she planted her lips to his neck, breathing her response into the skin there. He understood, and in a flash, swung her up into his arms as if she weighed nothing, and carried her off to his room._

* * *

A small shiver coursed up Mai's back now as all that had transpired between her and Zuko last night flooded over her like the ocean waves themselves. Both of them had been feeling exposed, vulnerable and

raw…they turned to each other and lost themselves in the other. It was thrilling, erotic…and a bit terrifying, all at the same time.

Her thighs still ached, and as she stretched, she had to bite her lip to hold back a squeak. It hurt the first time, she had known…but all the rumors and anecdotes she had heard over her lifetime had done little to prepare her for the actual event.

Zuko stirred beside her as she moved to leave his bed. Mai halted in her tracks, watching as, with a small groan, he too stretched his long, lean body and slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times before they came to a rest on her. Instantly, a warm, lazy smile unfurled on his face.

"Good morning…" He murmured, reaching out and gently stroking her bare thigh with the softest fingertips imaginable. She couldn't help but smile—it was ridiculous sometimes, how he treated her body like spun glass, as if any sudden movement he had would shatter her. Last night, he had been anything but gentle.

"Good morning to you too," She stood up, ignoring his muffled noise of protest as their skin lost contact with one another, and glanced around the room for something to wear, if only just long enough for her to make the journey across the little house and into her own room to find something of her own to put on.

Mai found her answer in the form of Zuko's own sleep pants and shirt, which she plucked off the floor from where he had thrown them (as he had been 'unpacking' no doubt), and slid them on. They were too big of course, but they felt comfy. They were certainly good enough for her to scurry over to her room in them.

"Where are you going?" Zuko asked, lifting his head off of the pillow and watching her in faint bewilderment. "And why are you wearing my clothes?"

"You're not exactly making use of them," Mai pointed out, finding a hair elastic of her's on the nightstand that had been thrown aside the night before and pulling her hair back into a messy ponytail. "And I'm just going to pick up some clothes…I'll be right back. I promise."

She bent down and kissed him on the top of the head, and he smiled once more as he lowered his head back onto the pillow, watching her as she slipped outside.

The house was quiet—perhaps all the other inhabitants were still asleep. Nevertheless, Mai snuck as quietly as she could from Zuko's room to the one she was sharing with Ty Lee, and swung the door open as tentatively as was possible.

She slid inside—and was greeted by a voice.

"Good morning, Mai."

She whirled around only to see Ty Lee, fully dressed and sitting cross-legged on top of her neatly-made bed. Her friend, who normally emitted such a cheerful, bright kind of atmosphere, was looking rather dull this morning—her mouth was set in a grim line, her gray eyes unusually flat.

"Er…good morning," Mai attempted to make her way over to the old armoire where she had stored her clothes, but Ty Lee cut her off by sticking her leg out, barricading the way.

"I know what happened last night," Ty Lee continued, still in that oddly flat little voice. "I think the whole house does. And Mai…Mai…"

Her voice broke, and Mai looked up, horrified to see tears sparking in her friend's eyes now.

"You do know…Mai, something like that…there can be…"

"Consequences?" Mai asked tartly, halfway debating on shoving past Ty Lee's legs.

Ty Lee bobbed her head. "Not even I would have done…I mean…it's huge, Mai…"

"Shouldn't you be squealing about how excited you are or something like that?" Mai demanded, now a tad annoyed.

Ty Lee shook her head frantically this time, and opened her mouth to speak again, but Mai had had enough. She shoved past her friend's leg and plucked from the dresser the clothes she wanted from the day, ignoring Ty Lee's gaze that she could feel burning in the back of her head.

Mai straightened up with her bundle of clothes, and made her way out of the room, refusing to meet Ty Lee's eyes as she did so. She even shut the door on her way out.

However, just before it shut completely, Mai could have sworn she heard her best friend say out loud, in a quiet, yet urgent voice, "Be careful, Mai."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Moar Maiko. MOAR. :D :D :D_

_This chapter squeezes together post-'The Beach' up until post-'Nightmares and Daydreams.' More of Zuko is touched upon here, such as his desire to keep Mai out of his personal business for his own safety, and towards the end, his guilt feelings-sometimes, he can feel like a user of her. Sad, eh?_

* * *

Mai managed to push Ty Lee's warning out of her head in a relatively short amount of time. True, it was very unalike her friend to worry in such a way, so that might have been reason for her to be alarmed, but she eventually shoved it out of her mind.

She would suppose, later on, that lovesickness had something to do with it—her adoration clouded her judgment and pulled a curtain over her eyes that ordinarily, she could have seen through with ease.

After Ember Island, her relationship with Zuko took a change, for the definite better. Before, they had been lacking in something, something that Mai had been unable to put her finger on, but was beginning to understand now. It had seemed fake then, too good to be true, like something cobbled together simply because she and Zuko had held affection for one another once and decided to act upon it.

It seemed so much more _real_ now, now that the both of them had let their emotions explode and fly, now that they understood each other on more of a deeper level. Of course, the physical events that had taken place between them had yielded an effect on the two…giving themselves up to each other in such an intimate way had only further knocked down any walls that they may have had set up.

Upon their return to the Fire Nation, the two became inseparable. More often than not, Zuko would leave the palace and head across the street to her house (so they could be away from Azula and her prying eyes and taunting smirks) and simply cuddle for hours on one of her couches.

The days were spent side-by-side, long hours wasted away as they talked and laughed. Their nights were cocooned in each other's bodies, in quiet murmurs, faint laughter and soft kisses. Sometimes, she felt as if her heart was beating so hard, it was liable to burst out of chest.

Mai had honestly never felt this happier before in her entire life—even Ty Lee commented the change in her aura, and in the way she carried herself. Azula noticed it too and never hesitated to send a jab here and there, a poison needle shot through Mai's little cloud of happiness.

After their stint at the beach, a change seemed to have come around in Zuko himself. He was content to loaf and longue around with her, happy to spend his days wrapped in joy and love, and never seemed to want to unload any more of his problems onto her.

The last part actually bothered her a bit—she did honestly want to know what he was thinking, and she could tell there was quite a bit on his mind at times. When she asked him about it, he assured her that it was nothing.

She didn't pry. Mai never pried. But she did feel a little stung that he would not confide in her. She had no idea that, in his own mind, Zuko was protecting her in every way that he could, in the only way that he knew how to at the time.

Little did either of them know that he could only shield her for so long— and only from so many things.

* * *

Mai hovered outside the Fire Lord's war room, her foot close to jiggling with impatience. Zuko had only moped and fretted about the stupid meeting for _hours_ last night, and now it was taking forever, of course.

Just as she was beginning to wonder if she ought to march inside and drag him out herself, the curtains parted, and Zuko walked out. He did not say hello, or even acknowledge her presence as he marched straight past her, his head bent.

"So…how did it go?" Mai prompted, ungluing herself from the pillar she had been leaning against. As expressive and emotional as Zuko was, sometimes he needed a little push in the right direction to get him to talk.

He went on to explain the bare details of the war meeting, about how everyone had been waiting for him and how his father had insisted that he sit next to him—literally, at his right-hand side. At his words, Mai couldn't stop the bubble of pride and joy that swelled in her chest. She knew full well just how much his father's acceptance meant to him, and it sounded like he was certainly on the right track for that goal.

"Oh, Zuko, that's _wonderful…"_ She breathed, gently resting a hand on his shoulder. "You must be happy…"

Her voice trailed off as he halted in his tracks, and she slid her hand away from him as she turned to look at what his own gaze was trained on. The portrait of Ozai hung, menacing and magnificent upon the wall, and the eyes of his son were fixed right on it.

"During the meeting, I was the perfect prince…the son my father wanted. _But I wasn't me."_

His words, weighed down with trepidation and even sorrow struck a chord in her heart. Mai turned to look at him, and was unsurprised to see his head bowed in defeat, his eyes downcast.

Zuko looked so lost, so alone and confused…and his pain felt like her own.

"Zuko…" She spoke quietly, gently taking ahold of his hand. "Do you…do you want to be alone tonight?"

He hesitated, just for a fraction of a moment, and then shook his head.

Mai carefully steered him off in the direction of his room. She did not catch his silent wince, didn't hear the apology he gave her inside his head, and didn't detect the sound of his heart quietly breaking.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Every so often, there's something I write that when I step back and look at it, all I can think is "wow." It doesn't happen too often, but with this chapter, it did._

_This is from Zuzu's point of view-this takes place directly before Day of Black Sun, and it's all about his inner conflict: love vs. doing what he knows is right. Leaving the Fire Nation is what has been right all along...but Mai is the one and only thing holding him back. I hope you like how this turned out as much as I did._

* * *

A long time after Mai fell asleep, her body curled into his, Zuko stayed awake. As exhausted as his body was, his mind was a frantic, buzzing whir of activity, and it simply couldn't be shut down.

He felt sick, almost physically sick. All the nagging doubts he had felt tugging at his brain beforehand immediately after his return to the Fire Nation were so very firm now, so solid and real as they clattered and crashed their way around his subconscious.

Zuko wished he had realized it a bit sooner—but he had finally realized what his heart had been trying to tell him the whole time, a message he had not been ready to accept. He was ready now. But it was so hard to think about.

He didn't want to stay here. He _couldn't _stay here.

The only thing holding him back was lying in his arms.

Just as every time before, the thought of leaving the Fire Nation was chased away by his love for Mai. How could he honestly _do _something like that to her? How could he leave her in such a way?

_Maybe,_ A tiny, hopeful little voice in the back of his head piped up_. You could bring her with…take her with you… _

The idea was such a wonderfully tempting one, Zuko could almost feel a soap bubble swelling inside of him—but all too soon, it popped.

He couldn't take Mai with him. He simply would not put her life on the line because of something he felt obligated to do.

_But you could keep her safe…_ The little voice insisted. _She would always be with you, and you would make sure nothing ever, ever happened to her…_

That was true. As long as there was air in his lungs left to give, Zuko would keep her safe. In her sleep, Mai murmured something unintelligible and nuzzled closer into him, further into the warmth that his unusually high body temperature produced.

She looked so peaceful as she slept, so content and happy. He traced the outline of her tiny smile with his fingertip, and his heart lurched painfully in his chest.

Zuko could not ask her to come. He simply couldn't. But Mai would be so hurt…

In his mind's eyes, he saw her with tears pouring down her cheeks; with rage in her eyes, hatred for him burning away in her heart…he squeezed his eyes shut at the thought. The notion of Mai hating him, of Mai with her heart breaking _because_ of him, was agonizing…

_But if it kept her safe…_

He would give her up. Not willingly, but out of necessity. She would be safe here in the Capital City, without a need to worry about him. She, unalike him, could spend the rest of her life as a free woman, without the terrible stain that he himself carried.

Zuko opened his eyes again, and traced the outline of her entire face this time, her lips, her cheekbones, her dark eyebrows. He willed his fingers to memorize her, to imbed Mai under his flesh, so whenever he touched his own skin, it would be her he felt underneath his fingertips.

He buried his face into her silky, inky hair then and inhaled, imprinting her scent into his memory, the only piece of her he would have left if he carried on with what he was planning. Zuko's hands, almost on their own free will, drifted from her face and down across the rest of her body, tracing her every outline, all the gentle dips and swells and curves, and suddenly, felt the urge to hold back a sob.

Zuko was an emotional person—no one could deny that. But never before had he felt his heart ache and throb with such a painful combination of love, sorrow, loss, guilt, and longing.

He wished, more than anything in the world right now, that Mai could melt into him, that she could literally, become a part of him that he could carry with him forever and never, ever need to let go of. He almost felt that was possible now, in the utter still and the darkness of his bedroom.

Almost.

* * *

It took him a while to fall asleep, but eventually, Zuko drifted off. When he awoke, it was only to find a fully-alert Mai gently stroking his cheek, her fingertips gliding over the ruined skin of his scar like it was just as pale and unmarked as the rest of his face was.

A lump rose in his throat, and he opened his mouth to say something, to say anything, but she pressed a kiss to his lips first. "Good morning," She smiled, and it was single-handedly the most beautiful and most heart-breaking thing he had ever seen before in his life.

"Good morning," He answered hoarsely. _I'm leaving. I have to leave. It's nothing you did. But I have to leave. Please, understand…I love you and I don't want to do this to you, but I have to, but I love you so much and my heart is breaking and I can't-_

"Do you mind if I go take a quick bath?" Mai asked, sitting up and stretching, sunlight streaming in through the window catching in her hair and giving it even more of a glow.

He shook his head wordlessly, and she bent down to drop a quick kiss on his head before departing for the bathroom. Zuko simply lay there on his bed, unable to watch her as she went and unable to hold back a tear that snaked down his face as he listened to her footsteps fade away.

He missed her. He already missed her more than words could say, and more than his heart could crumble enough to express.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: My dear Lord. I think this chapter is single-handedly one of the most, if not **the **most, beautiful/emotional things I have ever written. I don't even know what it is about it. Let's just say, I'm proud of this one._

_By the way-Kuekuatsheu is a real figure in Inuit legend. I stole him for this, and I stole the story he is involved in from X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Embarassing, perhaps, but the story was too lovely not to be included. The idea hit me like a tank._

_I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!_

* * *

Zuko was gone the day afterwards.

In all the swirling chaos that the Capital City had been as it readied itself for an attack (by the Avatar and his forces, or so it seemed), Mai hadn't gone to say goodbye to him. She had ventured back over to her house in the morning, promising him that she would see him later, once things had settled down.

He had stared at her, stared at her like he was trying to burn her image into his memory, swallowed once, and whispered, "Goodbye…"

She had kissed him once, just a quick little goodbye peck on the lips, so she had been surprised when he had seized ahold of her and just about torn her lips off, his hands gripping at her tightly enough to hurt.

"Zuko—Zuko, what-" Mai managed to pull away, her face flushed and her heart skittering away like a trapped rabbit's would be.

He looked away from her, refusing to meet her gaze, not offering a single word of explanation. Mai sighed, but decided not to pursue the subject—she would ask him about it later, if she even felt it was worth dragging up again.

She made her leave then, hurrying off down the street to join Ty Lee and her family. Since her own parents were still in Omashu, her friend had insisted that she come with them during the invasion, as an extra precaution. Mai left with them, with Ty Lee, her wide-eyed sisters, and her parents, and along with the rest of the city, fled for the safety of the underground bunkers that, by order of the Fire Lord, all civilians were supposed to remain in for the duration of the attack.

If she had known that was the last time she would get to see him before he left, she would have whirled around, ran as fast as she could back to the palace, and begged, on her hands and knees, for him to take her with.

Mai did not beg for anything.

But when she returned home that evening, feeling quite tired and slightly rattled, more than ready to undress and slip into the sheets of her comfy bed, something caught her eye when she put the lights on in her room.

There, resting on the red silk of her bed was a scroll, creamy-white against the sheet and tied with a string. Curious despite her previous weariness, Mai plucked the scroll up, untied the string, unfurled it, and read, in shockingly familiar handwriting.

_Dear Mai,_

_I'm sorry you have to find out this way, but I'm leaving._

The rest of the note was a blur, meaningless letters thrown together to form a kind of message that, at the time, her brain simply couldn't comprehend. All she could hear was those last two words, those last two words that broke something inside of her, that sent her mind reeling, and that ripped out her heart.

_I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm leaving._

He was gone.

Mai did not beg for anything. But if she had known that _this_ was going to happen beforehand, she would have given up anything, would have sacrificed everything, would have pleaded with him for hours for him to take her with him.

She did not sleep that night. How could she possibly? The letter, that terrible, awful letter was lying on the floor where she had thrown it aside earlier, a good deal of it still unread. A patch of moonlight shone in through her window and illuminated it, a beacon pointing Mai towards the only part of Zuko she had left.

She rolled over, forcing herself to look away from it, and outside up towards the moon instead. It was beautiful tonight, a perfect, gleaming pearl suspended in the inky blue-black sky. As she looked up at it, on its own free will, a memory unraveled in her mind's eye…

* * *

On a night that had been as sweet as this one, one month ago when the moon had appeared as full and as round in the sky, Mai and Zuko had been lying outside in the wide, spacious garden in the back of her house. He spent so much time over at her place, now that she had it to herself. They had tried to go to sleep indoors in her bedroom, but the idea had been dismissed—it was simply too perfect a night to be wasted inside.

Mai normally didn't like the outdoors much, and the idea of her willingly lying down to sleep in the grass was normally laughable—but tonight, she made an exception. Nestled beside Zuko like this, his heart thrumming underneath her, she would have loved wherever they were in the world.

She was only clad in a thin, skinny-strapped nightgown, and Zuko had long since discarded his sleep shirt. The feel of their skin together was something that sent continuous chills up her spine, and she couldn't hold back the sigh that escaped her lips as she snuggled into him.

He smiled at her, his fingers running slowly, lazily through her black hair, before he turned his head and looked up towards the moon instead. "You know…" He murmured in a low voice, idly twisting a strand of hair around his one finger. "I heard some lovely stories about the moon while I was gone, out in the world…"

"Did you now?" Mai had to smile—Zuko was in one of his truly, deeply romantic moods. They didn't occur all that often—but when they did, she lavished in it, letting his soft words and softer caresses flow over her in a gentle, tender rhythm.

"Of course…" He nodded, and glanced back at her as he asked quietly, "You see how empty the rest of the sky is? How the moon is all alone, by herself?"

Mai nodded once against his chest.

"She used to have a lover…" Zuko explained, his hand keeping up the slow stroking of her hair. "His name was Kuekuatsheu and they lived in the Spirit World together. And every night they would wander through the skies..."

His voice, breathing right into her ear, conjured the most beautiful image in her mind, of a gorgeous woman clad in white walking with a handsome, smiling man as they strolled through a path of stars, across the galaxy itself.

"But one of the other spirits was jealous," Zuko's voice took on a more somber tone. "He wanted the Moon for himself. So he told Kuekuatsheu that the Moon had asked for some flowers. He suggested that he come to our world and pick her some wild roses. But Kuekuatsheu didn't know that once he left the Spirit World, he would never be able to go back. He became trapped here. And every night since then, he looks up at the sky and sees the moon and he cries out for her."

His hands now moved from her hair and leisurely traced down her body, which shivered underneath his touch and the light silk of her nightgown. Zuko's fingers landed lightly on her thighs, slowly pushing the material up to expose more and more creamy skin. Her breath hitched, and he pressed a kiss to her neck, sighing into the skin there:

"But he can never touch her again…"

She closed her eyes and murmured, "That was beautiful…"

"Beautiful?" Zuko's one arm curved around her waist as he nuzzled her neck. "I thought it was sad…"

"It was both," Mai insisted, bringing her hands up and laying them on his bare chest, right over where his heart was beating. "Imagine, not being able to see her, for so long…"

"He can see her," Zuko reminded her, glancing towards the moon for a moment. "She's always right there, too far away for him to reach."

He looked right into her eyes as the hand on her waist moved to cup her cheek, and the words, for once, flew from her lips before she had time to think about them.

"Would you call out my name every night like that?"

Zuko gazed at her, gleaming like the moon itself in the silvery light, her amber eyes shining with love and a soft smile gracing her lips as she looked up at him. He didn't hesitate to answer as he kissed her.

"Yes."

* * *

A little whimper escaped Mai's mouth then. She brought her hand to her face only to realize that there were tears tracking down her cheeks, tears she had been unaware that she had been shedding.

She hadn't told Zuko at the time, but she thought it now—if she had been the one trapped on earth, and he had been the one forever out of reach, she would not have cried out for him.

She would have torn the sky itself down to find her way back to him.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: The first part of this chapter has to do with Azula and Ty Lee coming to see Mai after Zuko has left. We aren't given a clue in the series as to how this scene really unfolded, so I left it to my imagination: I hope it sounds believable to all of you._

_The second part is Mai's actual discovery of her pregnancy. It has got to be an absolutely terrifying moment, for a girl who's been sexually active recently to miss her period (especially if it's been a few days), and suddenly realize what this points to. Mai is always such a cool, composed girl...this occurence is going to be a huge blow for her, on top of the fact that she's still staggering over Zuko's departure._

_As always, enjoy, and remember that reviews makes for a happy bomba. :D_

* * *

Azula and Ty Lee discovered Mai the next afternoon, lying in the same position in her bed as she had been the night before.

Mai honestly didn't believe that she had moved an inch. The desire to get up and walk around, to go find something to eat, to even sleep…she didn't feel even the tiniest bit of it. The only urge Mai felt right now was the pressing, desperate one to curl into a very small ball and simply vanish out of existence.

It didn't seem like too much to ask for. And trapped up here in her room, the door locked and the shades pulled down, it almost seemed like she was on the right track.

She had forgotten all about Azula.

Of course, the princess would let herself into Mai's otherwise empty house. Of course, she would have demanded that the head servant give her the key to Mai's room in order to barge in. And of course, something toxic would have spewed from her mouth the moment she stepped inside.

"I saw this coming for ages now."

Mai squeezed her eyes shut at her words, silently begging Azula to leave and never come back, to leave her alone for once…she did not want to hear anything that she had to say to her.

"Mai…I'm so sorry…" It was Ty Lee's voice that spoke now, smaller and softer than Azula's smug declaration. She sounded genuinely apologetic, and her pity stung Mai almost as harshly as Azula's cruel words had.

"Well, I'm not," Azula stated matter-of-factly. "After your little spat on Ember Island, I thought you may have come to your senses about Zuko, Mai. I had so hoped that you might have realized then just how far away Zuko was from the perfect prince you once thought he was…I suppose that was too much for me to expect."

"I never thought _once_ that he was perfect," Mai lifted her head from her pillow to meet Azula's golden eyes, trying to glare into them as harshly as she could—the fact that her voice shook when she spoke did not do anything to help this.

"No, perhaps not…" Azula shrugged, agreeably enough. "Then again, I'm sure you never thought he would do something like _this_ to you either."

Mai sucked in her breath, her cheeks flaring red with outrage and humiliation, and the princess smirked.

Ty Lee however, had spotted the unfurled letter lying on the ground where Mai had thrown it aside the previous night. She bent down and plucked it up, eyebrows pinching together as she scanned the note, her face gradually assuming one of more and more horror.

"Mai…he left you this?"

"What is it?" Azula demanded, outstretching a hand. Mai closed her eyes once again—when Ty Lee handed the letter over and the princess read it, it would all be over.

"Did you read this entire thing, Mai?" Azula shrieked with glee after a few moments of a heavily pregnant silence that she had taken to read the letter. "I certainly _hope _you did…it's rich."

She cast it aside without a second glance, and marched right up to Mai. She inspected the dark-haired girl lying in bed with disdain for a minute, before declaring sharply, "Get up."

Mai did not move, or give any indication that she had heard the princess at all.

"I said, _get up."_

What was the point in resisting? Azula would probably set her bed on fire if she refused any longer. Thinking that that might not be such a terrible thing after all, Mai nevertheless swung her legs out of bed and slowly, almost shakily, rose to her feet.

Azula slapped her, hard and firm across the face. Ty Lee let out a near shriek, and even Mai couldn't hold back a gasp of shock and pain. Her cheek stung horribly, and she could have sworn that she felt blood, from where Azula's sharp nails had momentarily clawed at her flesh.

"Get over it," Azula ordered, her voice steely. "Get over _him. _This is why I've always told you two that trust, and especially love, is for fools. I was giving you each a fair warning. And Mai chose to ignore it."

She reached out and stroked back the loose strands of dark hair that fallen into Mai's face, the movement oddly soft and tender for the harsh action she had just performed on her a second ago.

"You need to trust me, Mai," The princess informed the older girl, who was shivering with the combination of the throb from the slap and the eerie feeling of Azula's nails scraping her hair out of her face to tuck it behind her ears. "Believe it or not, I know what's best for you. And it was never Zuko. Doesn't this much just prove it to you?"

Mai longed to contradict her words, longed to tell her that Zuko had been the best thing that had ever happened to her, and that no matter what else happened, she would never, ever regret loving him. The words were there, forming on her tongue, ready to burst forth, just as Azula cupped her still-flaming cheek with her hand, her nails digging slightly into the flesh there.

Mai swallowed once—and did what she was a master at.

"….yes," She lied, her voice shaking.

"Of course," Azula smirked, her golden eyes (so much alike, and yet so unalike _his_). "I do feel a bit sorry for you, Mai…but some good did really come out of this."

"Like what?" Mai couldn't help but ask.

"Now you know who you should really love," Azula hugged her, for the first time since the girl's had met up for the first time in years in Omashu. "Now you know who you should have really trusted all along."

After a pause, Ty Lee joined the hug as well. "We're here for you, Mai…" She promised her friend in a low voice. "Always."

Mai felt utterly nothing at their words. She did not embrace them in return.

* * *

Later on, once Azula and Ty Lee had departed, Mai felt hungry enough to venture downstairs and scout around for something to eat. She didn't have much of an appetite, so she ate a piece of bread, more out of necessity than an actual desire to consume something.

As she munched on her bread, she crossed her legs, a gesture that was typical for her. The one motion, as simple and nonchalant as it was, suddenly stirred something in her memory.

Mai stopped eating, halting in mid-chew. Her mind flew, making quick, desperate calculations, and she swallowed hard, once.

No. She couldn't be right. She had to be missing something. She recalculated, adding days together to come to a conclusion.

If her numbers were correct (and she had double-checked, they _had _to be right) she was two days late. Mai was never late—her monthly courses always passed in perfect tandem, beginning and ending at the same two times each month. Mai figured she might have been even able to time them down to the very minute they started and stopped.

Since she was twelve and had first begun the whole process (causing her mother to instantly launch into a flow-blown speech about womanhood and what to expect later on down the road), she hadn't missed one. Not once.

She was losing her mind, that was it. Grief and confusion had taken over her brain, clouding her judgment and making it difficult for her to comprehend things. And surely, she was overreacting. Girls were allowed to be late every now and again. These things couldn't be timed as accurately as Mai's were.

It was a freak thing, a one-time only occurrence. She would begin the cycle in a few days, this much she knew was true.

Mai was wrong. A week passed, a week of her praying (for once) to find even a speck of blood, a small indication that her body was behaving as it should be, that her courses were moving along at the same regular pace they always did…but none came.

She awoke on the eighth day after she had made her observation about being late, and desperately checked the sheets and her underwear, winging one last plea up to the spirits, her mouth dry and her palms sweaty.

There was nothing. Everything was clean. Mai lay back down, her heart now seeming to beat impossibly loudly in her throat as she did her best not to throw up.

Her period was ten days late. Mai could think of only one thing that would lead to something like this.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: For the AU's sake, I've given more time from Zuko's actual leaving of the Fire Nation to his and Mai's encounter at The Boiling Rock. In the series, it's probably less than a month. Here, it's three. _

_This chapter just got me to thinking...Mai has virtually no one and nowhere to turn to right now. Her baby shouldn't even be in existance, yet it is. She's all alone undergoing something as huge and as drastic as this, and she's already feeling terrible because of Zuko's departure. How much would something like this suck? :(_

_Think of this chapter as sort of a 'transition' one-the next will take place at The Boiling Rock, where things pick up some speed._

* * *

What little hopes Mai might have had for her absent period to be just a freak event, a onetime only occurrence, a small blip on the otherwise perfect course that was her body's functions, were dashed to pieces when she awoke one morning and felt bile rising in her throat.

She had just barely made it to the kitchen when she threw up, the sensation bringing her to her knees. Her stomach felt the queasiest it had been in months, and she didn't bother trying to fight the next surge of vomit that arose in her. She felt weak, faint—if this kept on, she would pass out in a pool of her own sick.

"My lady!" A servant bustling into the kitchen started when he saw Mai on the floor, clinging onto a nearby countertop to keep herself from falling over. "Are…are you not feeling well?"

_"What do you think?" _Mai thought bitterly in her head, but she simply shook her head no outwardly. The servant quickly hurried off, and Mai honestly thought he was leaving her, until he returned with a small cluster of his fellow workers.

"Not to worry, my lady," He assured her as three of the maidservants carefully helped her to her shaky feet. "We'll have this cleaned up in no time. Why don't you take a nice long nap now? We'll be sure to bring in some medications for you later. Perhaps an herbal tea?"

Mai didn't feel like eating or drinking anything right now—and even though she had just gotten out of bed, the overwhelming urge to sleep was quickly overtaking her once more.

She allowed the maidservants to tuck her back into bed, let them smooth her dark hair out of her pale, clammy face, all the while hearing murmurs and clucks of, "Poor dear..." and, "A little rest is all she needs…"

Once they had scuttled off, no doubt to retrieve for Mai food or beverages that she wasn't going to eat or drink, she rested a trembling hand on her stomach. Still flat. It was still flat.

It could still be a freak thing, she dared to hope. Maybe she really was sick. Maybe she would recover shortly, and be back to normal within no time.

Maybe she was going insane. She wouldn't have been surprised.

* * *

By the end of the first month, Mai worried and fretted, but dared to hope.

By the end of the second month, she continued to send desperate prayers up to the spirits, even though she felt as if they simply were not listening.

By the end of the third month, she knew better.

Pregnant. _Pregnant._

It was such a _deliberate_ word, announcing the end of one thing and the beginning of something else. Mai was sure that it was a word that caused joy in many other women, that gave reason for young couples and families to celebrate. She could remember her own parents, when her mother first learned that she was expecting Tom-Tom, and how they had nearly wept tears of happiness.

Mai felt like crying now, but it was for anything _but_ joy.

It felt terrible, to have such a deep, powerful secret inside of her, a secret that only grew with each passing day as the baby inside her continued to develop. Mai was a master at hiding her feelings, a champion when it came to concealing things—it was easy enough to conceal her pregnancy with loose clothing, to keep the despair she felt raging inside her like ocean waves in check by hiding behind her usual bored, lifeless mask. But it was getting harder every day.

This was no little thing to be hiding—this was the ex-prince's baby in her stomach, the heir, if Zuko ever returned or if he had stayed, to the future Fire Nation throne. She was the future mother to what might have been, under different circumstances, an entire dynasty.

Despite the tiny person inside her, slowly growing and causing her belly to gently expand with it, Mai had never felt emptier. It would be frightening enough for a woman to undergo her first pregnancy if she had the love and support of her husband, family and friends around her, punctuated by the joy of knowing she was bringing another little being into the world, only small moments of terror in an otherwise blissful atmosphere.

Mai felt no happiness, none in the slightest. There wasn't a single person she could lean on or talk to. She honestly contemplated telling Ty Lee, just to get it off of her chest—but then she remembered that Ty Lee was, in turn, more than likely to blurt the whole story out to Azula. If _that_were to happen…Mai didn't even want to follow through with that train of thought.

As the third month drew to a close, Mai noticed that her morning sickness was finally over, something that was welcome indeed. The servants declared how happy they were that she had overcame her illness, and in fact, one of them noted cheerfully, Mai had never looked better before in her entire life, now that she was recovered.

She found that interesting, considering she had never felt _worse_ before.

As her morning sickness vanished, weight gain took its place. It wasn't very long before Mai spotted it—a curve where her belly was normally perfectly flat. She ran her hand over it, half expecting to feel a kick, before remembering that such things didn't happen until later on in the pregnancy.

Mai glanced down at it, at the bump just above her abdomen, and didn't feel the slightest stirring of love, the tiniest bit of excitement or the nervous yet delighted fluttering of her heart. She didn't feel annoyed either, or even angry. Just empty. Empty, sick, and scared.

* * *

As the days rolled by, Mai played a sick, sort of sadistic kind of game with herself. She would keep track of just how long she could go without thinking about Zuko, of just how much time she could spend without him slipping into her thoughts. The longer she went without him on her mind, the more time she allowed herself, once she was tucked upstairs in bed, to dream about him before she fell asleep.

One day, she had been particularly good—Zuko had intruded into her thoughts only three times that day (an unheard of, and completely new record), and so, as she lay in the dark, she gave herself permission to ponder over a question she had not dared contemplate before.

If Zuko were here, if he was still the beautiful, glorious prince that she and the rest of the nation had believed him to be, what would he have done in the event of such news? If he had still been here with her, and she had told him that she was carrying his child, how would he have reacted?

Mai imagined shock; almost fear—but happiness too. She imagined his smile, once the initial alarm had faded, pictured his arms circling around her.

_"It's all right, Mai…" _He soothed her in her mind, stroking her hair the way she loved him to, his eyes quietly assuring her of his assurance. _"We'll get through this together. I promise."_

She pushed the image out of her mind before it could carry on any further, tried to think of something else. Her knives, which she had not thrown in so long. The long, boring dinner parties her parents had made her attend, something that surely could put her to sleep…

None of it mattered. No matter what she thought about or where she turned, her poor, broken heart always carried her back to Zuko. Zuko, and his baby growing inside of her.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Boiling Rock scene, all right! :D_

_I'm sorry this update took so long...and I'm not entirely satisifed with how this chapter turned out, but eh._

_Enjoy, nevertheless. Reviews are loved more than you will ever know. :)_

* * *

It was not long before Mai simply could not bear to keep her secret hidden inside of her any longer. Her anguish had taken root in her and twisted around her heart like a poisonous weed, and she could no longer keep it stifled inside of her.

She composed a letter to her uncle, the warden at the infamous Boiling Rock prison. He was a hard, stern-faced man, famous for keeping his prison under a tight command. But he had been fond of Mai during her childhood and preteen years, the sole family member that she felt like she could talk to and trust.

What would he say when he heard the news? A thousand different scenarios played out in Mai's mind, but for once, she did not stop to consider the consequences. She was alone, desperate and scared…and all of these factors added up to borderline irrationality.

Mai fretted around her house for another week after she had sent her letter, ignoring the servants as best as she could and attempting to stay out of sight. The last thing she needed was for the staff to suddenly pick up on her condition.

What Mai didn't know is that servants are far smarter and more observant than many people give them credit for. They hear blissful sighs under the bed covers, kisses that might be deaf to other ears, and cries of ecstasy behind closed doors. They knew full well that Prince Zuko had been the only other person inside of their house these past few summer months, and they knew about Lady Mai's relationship with him.

The female servants who had already borne children were able to detect it relatively quickly, and they spread the news amongst their fellows like wildfire over a dry desert plain. They kept their knowledge of her condition a secret from Mai herself—but they certainly knew.

One of the servants, eight days after she had sent the letter to her uncle, finally brought Mai the message she had been longing to receive. She took it from him with slightly shaky fingers, and unfurled the note to read one of the shortest but most ground-shaking letters she had read in her entire life:

_Dearest Mai,_

_He is here at my prison. More will be explained upon your arrival. _

_Alert the Princess Azula and bring her with you—I think she will want to see her brother._

_Your Uncle_

The letter fell out of Mai's now violently trembling hand. "My lady?" The servant who had brought her the message frowned in concern. "Is something wrong?"

Mai soundlessly shook her head and sank into the nearest chair, ignoring the servant's inquires of if he should fetch her a cool drink or a soft pillow. Zuko was at the Boiling Rock…he was in her uncle's prison, the most feared and best-kept prison in the world, but more than that…he was probably the closest to her that he had been in months.

Once the initial shock had subsided, Mai picked the letter back up and read it again, paying more attention to the last and longest sentence this time. Why would she want to let Azula know? That would cause more problems than it would solve, in her own opinion.

But Mai would have sold her own soul right now to be able to see Zuko one last time—telling Azula about this and bringing her along with seemed only like a small step down from that. There was little time for her to think the matter over.

Azula was informed. Her laugh sent shivers up Mai's spine.

* * *

Due to the princess's eagerness to host a reunion with her brother, one of the fastest airships in the Fire Nation was commissioned to transport them to the Boiling Rock. It would take them less than a day to get there.

"I dare say that _you're _looking forward to this little meeting even more so than I am, Mai," Azula smirked towards her older friend, who alone had remained seated. Both the princess and Ty Lee (who had, of course, came along) were both on their feet, but the normally steady glide of the airship was rocking Mai on her feet—she supposed it was a combination of her pregnancy and her anxiety to see Zuko again.

She had the letter he had left her tucked inside her sleeve, along with the knives she had not thrown for ages now. It had simply felt wrong to leave on a mission without them. She had brought the letter for her own purposes, but she clung to like she clung to the last lifeline anchoring her to Earth.

* * *

Actually seeing him again was the hardest thing Mai had yet to overcome in her entire life. Azula had headed off for a chat with the Warden, Ty Lee tagging along behind her. Mai assumed they were going to inquire about Zuko's whereabouts, and had almost followed them, but a set of guards stopped her just in time.

"My lady…your uncle has arranged for one of the empty cells to be used as a private room…if you would so desire."

Mai's heart, which for so long had lain quiet and numb in her chest, suddenly sprang to life. "Yes…" She managed to swallow once and bob her head. "Yes, that'll do." Her uncle had known that she would have liked to be able to talk to Zuko in private, no doubt. He had been right—but now that the actual moment had arrived, a sudden wave of nausea was close to overcoming her.

She shook her head and inwardly steeled herself. She had thought about this day for months now, and now that it was finally here, there was no time for her to be nervous. All the pain, hurt, and sorrow she had felt boiling inside of her for ages now was about to be unleashed—and the last thing she wanted to do was break down into tears.

But looking at him, dressed in the tattered red prison uniform and with his head bowed in shame, the firm resolve she had mentally prepared nearly shattered right then and there. Everything about him, seated in the hard wooden chair that the guards had so forcefully thrown him into it, everything from his dark hair to his rough hands folded in his lap, triggered something in her memory that threatened to break her will.

How many hours had she spent, tangled up with this very young man on the couch or in her bed? How many quiet laughs had they shared together, how many times had his name escaped her lips in a breathless whisper? She knew his whole outline, she knew the body that lay beneath the ragged uniform…and she had thought that she had known the man that lay underneath that achingly perfect pale skin.

Mai's words flew and pierced like the knives she was so skilled at throwing, and she noticed his wince every so often. Although she accused him of ripping her heart out (true), although she berated him for the fashion in which he had left her, the real words that she was longing to say stayed locked inside of her.

_You unbelievable bastard. Don't you see? Don't you see what's right in front of you?_

She couldn't bring herself to tell him about her condition, she couldn't make the words come to tell him about his baby, _their _baby growing inside of her. For once, she wasn't thinking about what she was saying. The careful, icy, well-rehearsed speech that she had been concocting in her head had gone out the window when she laid eyes on him again, and nothing that she was saying made any sense in her ears. It was pain, achingly pure and raw, honest, emotion, and it almost hurt to let herself go in such a way.

So Zuko honestly felt he was saving his country, did he? Mai wasn't sure where he had pulled _that _idea from…but at the time, it was the last thing on her mind. The child inside her…she had to let him know, she had to find the right words that would deliver as crushing a blow to him as had been done unto her when she first realized her condition. The right words would not come, and Mai was just about to simply burst out with the truth, as she had been during their entire time in this dismal prison cell, when a guard arrived at the door.

"Ma'am, there's a riot going on! I'm here to protect you!"

Mai could have easily whirled around and impaled the guard with one of her many knives, but instead, she merely snapped coolly, "I don't need any protection."

"Believe me, she doesn't," Zuko remarked, and Mai caught the honest pride in his voice, the affectionate smile on his face. He knew just how capable she was of taking care of herself. Did he know that she also capable of breaking down, of falling apart? It didn't seem like it.

"I'm under orders from the Warden," The guard explained, moving forward. It happened then, as quick as a lightning bolt flashing across the sky. Zuko shot a blast of fire towards the ground—not near enough to hurt either Mai or the guard, but enough to startle the man into leaping in front of Mai to shield her.

Mai saw Zuko bolt towards the door during this time, and she reacted based on pure instinct. Throwing the guard aside, she ran for the exit as well—but Zuko's head start and her larger belly underneath her loose clothes worked against her. He had already closed the door and locked it from the outside by the time she made it there.

Mai glared at him through the slot in the cell door, and was horrified to feel tears welling up in her eyes. He was leaving her again, in such a cruel and brutish fashion…locking her in a prison cell. He looked up, and their eyes met. She found the will to continue looking into his eyes, and she thought she might have detected it—a glimmer of love in those expressive gold eyes that she had once found so easy to read. There may have been love, there may have been pain…but there was definitely regret.

She watched as he closed his eyes, shutting away the unspoken words and emotion between them, and bolted back down the hallway. Mai watched him go, and simply couldn't stand it.

She would not be left behind, not again, not ever again. She banged on the cell door, hollering and screaming like the wild child she had never been growing up, yelling as loudly as she had been doing in her head for the past few months now, and kept up the noise until it caught the attention of several guards below.

They unlocked the door, and Mai ran as fast as she could. Time was of the essence, and she had to be fast.

* * *

The rest was largely just a blur to Mai.

She had arrived on the platform in just enough time to assess the scene. Zuko and what looked like a handful of other prisoners were escaping on a gondola heading out of the prison. Azula and Ty Lee were returning to solid ground on another gondola. The line on which Zuko's gondola traveled on was being sawed away at by a couple of burly guards.

Mai understood then—Azula and Ty Lee were actually the ones escaping. Zuko and the others were about to be sent to their deaths.

Something in her mind settled into place. No matter how hurt she was, and no matter what sort of consequences she would have to suffer…she would not let him die. She could not let Zuko die, even if he had broken her heart. She still loved him, she had to accept it now, and she could _not _watch him die.

Mai removed the knives she had not thrown in ages now. She took careful aim at the guards sawing at the gondola line, and threw.

She sealed away her freedom with her actions. But Mai was relying on instinct that day, as she had been before—and her old skills with knives had not failed her. She did not keep count of how many guards fell to her—but it was many.

This was the most alive she had felt in months. Even with her curved stomach, even with the child inside of her, she was a better fighter than all the guards on the platform combined. She defeated them, one by one or in droves, until no man was left standing, pinned by one of her blades.

She kicked the winch holding the gondola line in place free—and bid her heart goodbye.

* * *

"I never expected this from you."

Mai had not expected to get far—Azula and Ty Lee had arrived back on the platform before she could even think about making a grand escape attempt. She had been arrested, seized ahold by a pair of guards, and brought before Azula like an animal about to be sacrificed.

She had heard this kind of steely anger in the princess's voice before. Mai kept her eyes downward, refusing to meet Azula's glare or Ty Lee's wide, frightened eyes.

"The one thing I don't understand is _why," _Azula sounded genuinely confused. "Why would you do it? You knew the consequences."

Yes, Mai certainly had. But she had embraced them anyway. There were things worth dying for in this world, and until Zuko had walked back into her life, she hadn't known that. She understood now, she understood that so well she wanted to spit in Azula's eyes and tell her to burn alongside her father, neither of whom had ever understood that and had never understood love.

What actually came out of her mouth was a bit different—but they were the right words, the perfect words.

"I guess you just don't know people as well as you think you do. You miscalculated. I love Zuko more than I fear you."

She lifted her head to meet Azula's eyes when she spoke, spitting out each defiant word with the kind of will and resolve she had lacked before, and she watched as fury raged across the princess's features, a kind of rage she had never once seen before on Azula, the kind of anger that came with betrayal.

"No, _you _miscalculated! You should have feared me more!"

Mai saw it then, Azula taking a stance, a stance just before one deliver a powerful Firebending move, and knew that this was the end. She didn't a chance against the prodigy, the Fire Nation's glorious princess. She would die here today. But she was going to go down fighting.

She removed one last faithful knife, a part of the weapons that had not failed her today despite her months of neglect, and for the first time, found herself thinking in her head towards her baby.

_I'm sorry._


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: I was so thrilled with the number of reviews I got for the last chapter, I decided to update fast! :D_

_My sincere thanks go out to anyone who reviewed, or has been faithfully reviewing, especially _Abigail Thalia La Rue, Penelope Applegate, aem82 _(for making me laugh), and Maddie, who I am so happy to hear really likes my story. _

_The next chapter is yet another turning point of the story-can you imagine how terrifying it must be to be pregnant in prison? This is only the very beginning of Mai's time there, I hope I did a decent job with this chapter._

_We learn a little something more about Ty Lee here, and we are also introduced to a very unpleasant character who, I promise, will appear later (and probably get a name)._

_As always, enjoy, drop me a review, and thank you again! :)_

* * *

The blood was pounding furiously in Mai's ears as the guards carted her down the hallway.

Right behind her, Ty Lee was being drug along by a pair of equally burly men, her slippers barely making a sound as they scuffed the metal floor. Mai still could not believe it.

Ty Lee had jumped in, just as Azula was about to deliver what could have been the end onto Mai, and brought the princess down, quite literally. She had blocked Azula's chi so quickly and with such force, it had knocked her right off of her feet and sent her sprawling to the ground, as limp as a sodden paper doll.

Mai had been incapable of doing anything but staring, her heart caught in her throat as she gawked at the scene before, knife still held loosely in her hand. Ty Lee too had looked at the fallen princess with wide eyes for a minute, as if unsure of the action she had just committed, before whirling around and racing over to Mai, tugging on her friend's frozen body.

"Come on! Let's get out of here!"

Before Mai could comprehend the absurdity of her statement (escape _how?)_, they had been surrounded by guards on all sides, guards that had appeared from seemingly nowhere. Mai was almost out of knives, and even if she hadn't been—she wouldn't have dared to fight her way through such a thick cluster of heavily armed Firebenders. Not with her swollen stomach.

"You're both fools!" Azula hissed at them from her position on the ground, before a handful of helpful guards lifted her to the feet she could no longer stand on.

"What should we do with them, princess?" A guard asked as both Mai and Ty Lee were seized around the wrists, preventing them from going anywhere.

"Put them somewhere I'll never have to see their faces again," Azula snarled, her voice laced with hatred. _"And let them rot."_

Mai found the strength to give her former friend one last defiant glare just before she was hauled off with Ty Lee. Inwardly though, her heart was beginning to pound frantically in her chest, a silent terror settling over her.

Before, she had known that she had been saving Zuko's life, and that was all that really mattered. But now that that moment had faded, a cold dread was starting to overcome her. She had been willing to risk her life, and therefore her baby's life, to save Zuko. She had known the consequences and had been willing to embrace them, but now in the aftermath of her choice, a nagging fear was tugging at her.

What was going to happen now? The unknown possibilities frightened Mai more than anything else.

The guards pushed her and Ty Lee along until they came to a door, which looked the same as all the others along the row. They pulled it open and herded the two girls inside. Mai barely had any time to wonder what was going to occur next before the door closed once again, leaving the pair in almost complete darkness.

Through the conveniently opened slot in the door, Mai could see that two guards had been left behind to keep sentry, the rest of the pack was heading off. "We'll be right back," She heard one man promise the two at the door, before following the others.

Mai didn't know where they were going, but before she could ponder on the situation, a loud sniffling noise from behind her distracted her. She whirled around only to see Ty Lee gazing at her with her wide gray eyes, tears welling up in them and already beginning to run down her cheeks.

"Ty…Ty Lee!" Mai gawked at the other girl, unsure of what to do in such a situation. "What…?"

"I'm so s-sorry, Mai," Ty Lee whispered, her voice a little wobbly. "I'm so sorry y-you're in this mess now…b-but I couldn't let Azula h-hurt you…or the baby…"

Not for the first time, Mai felt as if her heart had suddenly froze over in her chest. She struggled to breathe for a few moments as Ty Lee continued to quietly cry, and finally, she pried apart her stunned lips and managed to choke out, "How…how did you…"

"It was obvious, Mai," Ty Lee swiped at her eyes. "The w-way you were acting…how you w-wouldn't come out to see anyone…I k-knew it _had _to be more than just depression. And I saw…on the way here…you p-put your hand on your belly for a minute, and I j-just _knew…_it all came together then…"

Mai silently shook her head, still inwardly reeling. Ty Lee was far more perceptive than she could ever have imagined. But if the former circus girl knew, that Azula surely must have too. The very thought made her blood turn to ice.

"Does…does Azula…"

"Maybe, I d-don't know…" Ty Lee shook her head. "But Mai…I couldn't let you or the b-baby die, _please _try to understand…"

"I do," Mai looked away from her friend. "I'm grateful, really." The words sounded hollow and false on her lips, and she knew Ty Lee could probably see right through the lie. Mai was thankful…but after spending so many months wishing for death, she could not bring herself to fully appreciate the action that had been done for her today.

She was also not used to anyone _caring_ enough to give their life up for her. Her parents would feed her to a rampaging tigerdillo if their status depended on it, and Azula trusted her enough to take care of herself in such situations. Zuko…she didn't want to follow that train of thought.

But Ty Lee had saved her. Ty Lee, who couldn't go a day without groveling to Azula. Ty Lee, who had followed every one of the princess's orders and commands since Day One. Ty Lee, who never seemed to have a defiant bone in her body.

"Ty Lee…I…"

The door slid back open before Mai could say any more. A thickset female guard marched smartly into the room, two smaller women clad in clean but worn white uniforms and carrying boxes of some sort trailing along behind her. One of the male guards outside shut the door once more.

"Welcome to the Boiling Rock, little ladies," The woman smiled unpleasantly, her yellow teeth bared in a foul grin. "I can guarantee that your stay here will be anything but the pampered lives you've been living up to this point. And I understand that _you _(she turned to glare at Mai) are in fact the Warden's niece…but the princess herself has ordered no special treatment to be given to either of you. In fact, she requested the complete opposite. I hope you don't take it too personally…such is the penalty that traitors must serve."

She clasped her meaty hands behind her broad back and commanded then, in a well-practiced and firm voice, "Now, then. Both of you, strip down."

Mai had known this was coming. She and Ty Lee were going to receive their uniforms, and to do so meant to remove all their normal clothing and turn it over to the guards, who would no doubt dispose of it. Once in prison, privacy became a nonexistent thing, a long-forgotten element of the past. Although prisoners were treated to their own single cells, solitude was otherwise a figment of the imagination.

Mai felt Ty Lee's horrified gaze on her, and she knew they were both thinking the same thing. By stripping down, she could not hope to hide the now noticeable curve in her stomach. What would happen once it was called to attention, she didn't know, but she did not want to find out.

"What are you waiting for?" The guard snapped.

Behind her, Mai could hear the quiet rustle of Ty Lee removing her cheerful pink clothing. She closed her eyes, swallowed once, and began to do the same with her own clothes.

Before long, she was left in only the underwear she had slipped on this morning. She shivered from the sudden sensation, this feeling of being naked, bare, and exposed. The only person who had seen her in such a state of undress before was Zuko, and she had always planned to keep it that way. She did not want anyone to see her body but him, and the same still held true now. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do about it.

She glanced downwards, trying to look at her feet, but she could barely see past the bump anymore. The swell was already like a miniature mountain, full and round with her growing child—and it was only going to keep getting bigger. Just as she looked down, she heard it—the sound of everyone else in the room, even Ty Lee, sucking in their breaths.

"What the…" The guard muttered, her piggy eyes suddenly stretching wide. She reached a hand out and rested it right on the swell, and Mai shuddered. This woman was the first person besides Mai herself to lay a hand on her belly…and it didn't feel right. This woman, this coarse, burly woman with the rough hands shouldn't have been allowed to touch, however distantly, Zuko's child. It _simply wasn't right._

"Well, I suppose this puts a new spin on things," The guard chuckled, removing her hand, and Mai felt her cheeks flush at the woman's amusement. "The Warden will have to hear about this."

"_He already knows," _Mai thought in her head, still shivering a little involuntarily.

"Should we carry on then?" One of the white-clad women asked the guard, who was still inspecting Mai like she was holding back another quiet laugh.

"Oh yes, of course…" The guard nodded. "The little misses don't get out of it, even if one of them is a mother-to-be."

Mai flushed an even deeper red and felt, to her horror, tears sting her eyes. She was being mocked for the child she carried, the baby she still wasn't sure if she loved and wanted or not, and the humiliation was agonizing.

The two women nodded, and pulled grungy-looking hair combs out of their boxes. Without preamble, they each stepped over to one of the two girls and began to undo their hair. Mai felt the pins being yanked out of her buns, the ties pulled from her ponytails, and her hair fell down in a lustrous, shiny black waterfall down her bare back. The pins and ties were dropped into the box, and the woman seized a handful of Mai's hair in her fist.

She began combing her hair then, but not in the slow, leisurely way that Mai (and oftentimes Zuko) did. She combed at it harshly, brutally, digging the teeth into her scalp and yanking with seemingly every bit of strength in her skinny arms. Mai couldn't help but cry out once, and Ty Lee's squeak of pain beside her told her that she was undergoing the same treatment.

Once Mai's hair was entirely combed out, the woman stooped and produced a ragged red uniform from the box. "Sorry about the comb, little ladies," The guard clucked. "But it's standard prison procedure—we need to check for lice. Though I doubt your fine little heads even know what such a thing is…"

Mai was handed her uniform, and she looked down at the clothing with disgust. Although it seemed clean, the cloth was rough, the edges tattered. It was something that, ordinarily, no woman of her station would ever in her life have to dream of wearing.

But she slipped it on. It was better than being naked in any case. The cloth settled over her stomach, shielding the skin from view, and she almost breathed a sigh of relief.

"There's a sash that comes with it too," The woman explained as Mai and Ty Lee were each handed a long, skinny piece of identical red cloth. "Though I doubt it's going to do much good in _your_ case…"

The jibe was directed towards Mai, who did her best to ignore it. She tied the sash just below her breasts, an awkward position, but all that she could manage given her current condition. Once this was complete, a chuck of her hair was gathered and pulled back into a half-tail with a rubber tie by the white-clad woman, the typical hairstyle for female prisoners in the Boiling Rock.

She turned her head to look at Ty Lee, who's brown hair had been freed from its usual braid and was now flowing in waves, pulled back in the same fashion as Mai's was. The tattered red cloth of the prison uniform did not suit her friend.

Ty Lee must have felt her gaze on her, because she turned her own head and the two girl's eyes met, the gray connecting with the gold. The gray filled with tears once again.

"_I'm so sorry, Mai," _She mouthed, her lips trembling. Mai had to look away.

The female guard opened up the cell door once again, and the two white-clad women hurried off.

"You two!" The guard pointed to her fellows, who had been standing outside the whole time. "Take these two to their cells…and be a little more careful with this one."

The last part of the command was meant to be a taunt towards Mai, who, despite wanting to hang her head in burning shame, kept her chin lifted, meeting the spiteful gaze of the guard. She had defied the Princess Azula herself within the past hour. This prison guard would not get the best of her, would not bring her down—not her, or anyone else again.

Even if she was trapped in this prison for the rest of her life, branded as nothing but a traitor to her nation, she would hold her head high. She would give her unborn child someone to be proud of, a mother of pride and strength in the face of such a nightmare.

As if to encourage her, the baby kicked. For the first time, as she was being escorted to her cell, she felt the first movement inside her, the rap of the tiny body inside of her, and she almost gasped out loud.

She felt it again just as the door to her new cell was being slid open and the guards pushed her inside. Another kick, another sign that her baby was growing, healthy and strong.

Mai sat down on her cot and rested a hand on her swollen belly, and had to hold back the urge to both laugh and cry. Her baby was cheering her on.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Another quick update! :D_

_This chapter is divided into two parts. The first involves Mai and her uncle. We are never really given too many details about their relationship, but judging by what we do know (how upset he was that Zuko hurt Mai, how her uncle was the one to free her from prison) it seems to be a far more loving one than that of the one between Mai and her parents. This is just my take on how the Warden might have begun to handle Mai's current situation._

_The other half takes us over to Zuko in the Western Air Temple. I have always been rather disappointed that, in the series, we aren't shown at all if Zuko is worried about or thinking of Mai after The Boiling Rock. I'm sure he was, but still...the second part was to satisfy that whiny Maiko fangirl in me. ;)_

_Enjoy, and remember as any other author will tell you: story alerts are great, because it means someone wants to read more of the story, but a review is better-it means someone enjoyed the story enough to want to submit their thoughts on it. :)_

* * *

Within her first full day at the Boiling Rock, Mai could already tell that prison was going to be a kind of nightmare she had never imagined before.

Normally, prisoners were allowed out of their cells for meals, but because of Azula's orders, Mai and Ty Lee were not. Their food, if that was what it could be called, was delivered to them in their cells, three times a day. Once they were done eating, their empty trays were taken away by the guards.

Her uncle came to visit her on the first day, just after a breakfast that was supposed to be porridge but didn't taste like anything more than glue to Mai.

She had been lying on her cot, aimlessly staring at the ceiling, recalling days long since past when her parents would send her up to her room for hours at time as a punishment. At least back then, she had had the company of her books and her faithful knives. Now though, it was just her and her baby, who was proving to be quite active now.

The cell door slid open and she turned her head, expecting to see a guard. Instead, her uncle stepped inside, making sure to close the door behind him. Mai sat up and swung her legs down, her hands planted on either side of her.

"Uncle?"

He held up a hand. Mai held her tongue. The Warden sighed, and the action seemed to cause every fiber of his being to droop with weariness.

"Mai…" He brought his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Do you know…do you have any idea…what you've gotten yourself into?"

"I knew the consequences, Uncle," Mai's voice grew steely, and she balled her hands into fists. "And I was willing to take them."

"Even at the cost of the child?" Her uncle growled, opening his formerly shut eyes to glare her down. Mai found herself cowed slightly by the heat in his stare, and she had to look away from him.

"I couldn't let him die, Uncle…I couldn't…"

"And now you'll have to spend the rest of your life in a jail cell so that worthless piece of scum can walk free. Isn't life ironic at times?"

"Don't call him that!" Mai couldn't help but hiss, meeting his gaze again with a glare of her own. "I would do it all over again in a heartbeat."

"Mai!" Her uncle exclaimed, and suddenly strode over to her, picking up her now frigid hands in his own. His voice had grown softer, laced with concern now. "Mai…there's only so much I can do for you here. I'll do my best to keep you as safe as possible, but when…when the child arrives…"

Mai pulled her hands away from him. One flew to her stomach, the other to her mouth. _The baby. _

Up until today, when it had started kicking, it had been hard to think of it as truly her child. It had been something to drag her down; something to cause her pain and anguish and remind her of the young man she had lost her heart to…it had not been alive. It had not been human.

But the little kicks inside of her now proved just the opposite. Her baby was still growing, and he or she was strong. The baby was starting to explore the space it was confined in, stretching out and letting Mai know that he or she was doing just fine, thank you very much.

There was something so incredibly truthful and eye-opening about it, that it nearly brought tears to Mai's eyes. She had been more than willing to risk _her own _life for Zuko. And at the time, that meant her baby's life as well. After all, if she was lost, her child would be too.

But now the tiny person had blossomed inside her and was almost communicating with her in a way…she could have thrown her child's life away before he or she ever even got to live it. And now, she had condemned her baby to be born in a cell, to spend Agni knew how much time in the Fire Nation's most infamous prison.

She had sealed its fate away along with her own, and the sudden realization was almost too much for her to bear.

Mai couldn't help but let out a sudden sob, and her shoulders began to shake as she lowered her head. _I'm sorry…_She found herself thinking once more to her child, tears sliding down her face now. _I'm so sorry…_

"Mai!" Her uncle said her name once again, and without hesitation, wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him. "You listen here…I can't promise you the treatment I wish I could give you in this kind of situation. But I will do…_everything _that lies in my power to ensure you receive the best of what I _am _able to provide for you…and the baby."

Mai nodded once against his armor-clad chest, feeling just like a little girl again. No one had ever held her as she cried before, and the sudden onslaught of emotions overtaking her were too much for her to take on her own.

She was grateful now more than ever that her uncle was the warden here.

Her uncle patted her on the back for a while, as Mai slowly began to collect herself. Finally, she pulled away, wiping at her wet eyes as she did so.

"Thank you, Uncle…thank you so much."

He kissed her forehead and murmured, "Anytime, sweetheart…I just hope what I can offer you will be of help."

The Warden sighed and looked towards the door of her cell for a moment, before getting to his feet. "I'm sorry, Mai…but I have to go now. There's a great deal of work that has to be done in the aftermath of your little stunt. But I give you my word, I'll come by later."

He exited the cell then, leaving Mai alone once again. There was sharp rap from inside her stomach, and despite everything, despite all the worry, fear, and agony clawing inside of her, she had to smile.

Well. Not entirely alone.

* * *

Zuko awoke covered in sweat, his heart pounding frantically away in his chest. His eyes flashed open, and it took him a moment to grow adjusted to the darkness all around him and to realize that he was lying on the floor of the Air Temple, the Boiling Rock a long way away from here.

He got shakily to his feet, wiping his face with the back of his hand, and shuddered as he began picking his way across the various cots and sprawled bodies lying scattered on the stone floor. Lying next to Sokka, curled up so close to him they might have been one being, was the auburn-haired girl, Suki. She had been rescued today along with Sokka's father Hakoda, saved after many long months spent trapped in the prison, and the Water Tribe boy looked the most peaceful now that Zuko had ever seen him.

Zuko felt a pang of both jealousy and guilt hit him as he stepped around their intertwined bodies. Sokka had found his love once again. Their hearts must have been signing at their reunion. Zuko's own encounter with his former girlfriend had been less than pleasant…and now in the aftermath, the cold, icy hand of fear was starting to clench around his heart.

She had been so _brilliant, _so brilliant and so beautiful. Mai, his Mai, had arrived on the scene and saved not only Zuko's life, but the life of five other people (including that prisoner, Chit Sang) who had not deserved to die that day. She had taken out guard after guard, everywhere at once and so fearless, so brave…

His breath caught in his throat as he finally arrived at where he had been intending to go—the fountain, away from the rest of the group. He sat down and listened to the sound of gently rushing water for a minute, doing his best to keep from trembling.

But that was near impossible. Mai had not been harmed by any of the guards—but Azula and Ty Lee had been taking their gondola back to the scene, back to the platform to confront her…and the princess did not take kindly to betrayal. She had never _experienced_ betrayal before—her reaction would be something out of a nightmare.

That was, in fact, what Zuko's dream had been plagued with. Thoughts of just what Azula might have done with Mai had kept him up all night before chasing him into sleep, but even there he could escape them. The most horrible, awful images kept whirling through his mind, images that if he focused on for too long, his heart stopped for a moment.

He looked up towards the star-peppered, inky blue sky above, and hoped. He dared to hope for Mai, and he dared to send a prayer up to the spirits above in the hope that they might listen and answer.

_Please…keep Mai safe. Don't let her have died today. Keep her safe. And if you could…let her know that I love her, so, so much. You know she's always on my mind…but she needs to know that too._

Zuko focused on his prayer and only his prayer, keeping his mind trained on that one single thought. He kept it up for quite some time, his eyes squeezed shut, before finally, opening his eyes once again.

The stars twinkled just as distantly and as coldly as they had before. The water still gushed quietly behind him. Nothing had changed, except for the tears now rolling their way down his face.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Hello everyone! _

_I hope this chapter doesn't come off as too slow...it's more of a transition one, as opposed to an 'action' one. It's more or less just Mai's life in prison, with two things noted:_

_1) In the series, Ty Lee is mentioned to have met the Kyoshi Warriors in prison. Suki tells Sokka that the KW were in a different prison than she was. If that's true, than Ty Lee must have been moved to a different prison than Mai, as the Warden is the one who bails Mai out of jail._

_2) Either due to poor writing or a desire to wrap things up quickly, the Maiko finale scene starts off on a good note. There is no bitterness between the two despite their last meeting-so that got me to thinking. Instead of chalking it up to bad writing (because Bryke doesn't do that, of course!), I truly believe that Mai could have reached a realization during her time in prison about Zuko and the goal he was fighting for. By saving his life, Mai allows him to continue on the journey that she did not understand why he took...and I think she would do some musing on that, and perhaps come to the conclusion that Zuko was right all along. Eh? :)_

_Also, even if you don't like the chapter-drop me a review with your answer: **Should the baby be a boy or a girl? **I'm torn, and I'd like to take a vote on it! And let me add to future voters that 'Iris', although the name of the story, is **not **the baby's name...but if you would like it to be, let me know. I may warm up to the idea! :)_

_Thank you!_

* * *

Mai soon fell into a pattern in her life in prison, a life that, all things considered, was not that drastically different from the one she had grown up with. Isolated, very quiet...and more than a bit dull.

Normally, prisoners were allowed an hour a day outside in the exercise yard to stretch their legs and socialize. Under Azula's orders however, she was given no such luxury. Mai thought that her uncle might have sent her outside every once and a while—but the Warden seemed to agree with the princess on her command.

"It's too dangerous, Mai," He chided her when she angrily brought the subject up to him about a week into her imprisonment. "You're young, lovely…and need I mention pregnant?"

"So, you think it's too 'dangerous' for me out there?" Mai couldn't help but bristle. She was already sick of being trapped inside this dingy little cell, and now, her uncle was more or less insulting her—he had seen her trump a number of his prison guards, and he _still _didn't think he was capable of taking care of herself?

"Yes, I do," Her uncle insisted. "This is a prison, Mai. It houses some of the Fire Nation's deadliest criminals, war prisoners…men who have committed thievery, murder…and rape. Do you think they would show you any mercy because you're my niece? Do you think they would turn a blind eye because of your condition? Normally, I might try to get you outside every once in a while…but I don't think it's worth the risk."

Mai listened to him in silence, and as she did, her annoyance faded—not by much, but it did. Her uncle was right…she was pregnant, and walking out into a large throng of convicts she was not supposed to be intermingling with in the first place was an instant recipe for disaster. The Warden could not protect her forever or from everything.

"All right…" Mai sighed, exhaling and leaning back. "Fair enough. But Uncle…I think I'm going to lose my mind in here."

"I know, I know…" A look of genuine concern crossed over the Warden's craggy features. "Maybe…once the lights have been called off for the night, I can let you take a quick stroll. I don't want you cooped up in here…"

"Thank you, Uncle!" Mai had to embrace him then, unable to help herself. Even the small bit of freedom she was being offered was something glorious, something to be eagerly taken ahold of. She had a feeling, somehow, that the baby would appreciate it as well.

* * *

Barely a week after they had been at The Boiling Rock, Ty Lee was transferred to another prison. Mai would not have known if her uncle hadn't told her—she had not laid eyes on her friend, who was being kept in the same kind of solitary confinement, since their first day as official prisoners here.

"What?" Mai sat up, her voice taking on a somewhat urgent high pitch as she stared at her uncle. "Ty Lee's…gone?"

"Transferred," Her uncle explained heavily. "Under the princess's orders."

Mai had to grit her teeth. Azula would have, of course. Even though her two former friends didn't even see one another thanks to her command, she would still insist on the pair of them being separated in any way possible—including something like this.

Once her uncle was gone, Mai settled back down on her cot looking up at the ceiling, a usual position for her. She found herself hoping that, wherever Ty Lee went, she was all right. The former circus girl was made of stronger stuff than Mai had realized, and she dared to believe that her friend would make it through without type of situation she was being thrust into now.

There was a small, almost tentative nudge from inside her womb, and Mai's hand drifted to her stomach instinctively. "I know…" She said out loud, talking to her little one. She no longer felt as if she had to simply think to her baby—she could talk out loud to the child now, who was truly her only company. Mai liked to think, however silly it was, that the baby liked to hear her voice too.

"I know…" She repeated, giving her belly a soothing rub. "Ty Lee saved us both. But don't worry…she'll be fine. If I know her, she'll be trying to teach the inmates how to walk on their hands."

* * *

With so little else to do with her time, Mai spent a good majority of her day doing nothing but thinking. It would have driven a less patient woman than she up the wall, but Mai felt as if it was about time she sat down and tried to make some sense of her scrambled thoughts.

The way things were appearing, it did not seem likely that Mai would be out of prison in time to have her baby. This realization was an absolutely horrifying one to her…the idea of going into labor and giving birth to her child here, and then no doubt having to raise him or her in the same place, was enough to keep her staring at the ceiling for hours on end, her mind desperately trying to form a plan.

When none came to her, her thoughts turned to Zuko. That was a painful subject, but bit by bit, it was becoming less and less so. It had been such a relief, such a moment of shining glory, to tell Azula how much she loved her brother, and it was now easier to admit that to herself. She loved Zuko, and there was no point in trying to deny it.

She had been willing to die for him, as Zuko had been willing to die for the cause he believed in. She pondered about that quite a bit. Zuko had insisted that what he was doing was helping his country…that by joining the Avatar and helping him prepare to defeat Fire Lord Ozai, he was really doing what was best for the Fire Nation.

Mai wasn't entirely sure if she could understand that…since the day she was born, she had been taught the Fire Nation was the greatest in the world. Everything they destroyed, they destroyed to make room for something newer and grander. The rest of the world was being taught, was being shown the proper way they should live…the Fire Nation had been showing them what they were missing, but what they could become.

Mai had spent her entire life being fed those kinds of stories. Even when her family moved to Omashu, they had been under the thumb of Ozai and the Fire Nation itself. She had never known a different way of life.

But Zuko did. And he _had _lived a different life, a life that had taken him to every corner of the world and had shown him things she could only begin to imagine. There was no one who knew better about the Fire Nation's impact on the world than he did…

Not to mention, Mai trusted him more than anyone else on the planet. If she couldn't trust his judgment…

Zuko had honestly believed he was doing the right thing. Mai, at the time, had not understood…but she had known that she was doing the right thing in saving his life, so he could go free and continue on his journey. Perhaps, somewhere deep down, she had understood what he had been talking about after all.

"Dinner," A guard grunted outside, jolting Mai out of her thoughts as he pushed a bowl of what could have been soup inside her cell, before sliding the door shut.

Mai sighed, getting slowly to her feet before walking over to the bowl and plucking her dinner up. It was a meager meal, but it was all she had, and she had to accept it to keep her strength up—her baby needed it.

She sat down and began slurping as neatly as she could, her mind wandering onto Zuko once more. Wherever he was and whatever he was doing…she prayed to the spirits above that he was safe.

Her baby, who had been quiet for a little while now, chose that moment to kick her, and Mai had to sigh.

"I hope so too."


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: DUN DUN...the plot does some thickening!_

_I apologize beforehand if this chapter comes off with a 'rushed' feeling-I'm trying to tie up the war's end, and I don't feel like I did it justice._

_So all in all, I'm not quite happy with this...but it'll have to do to make way for bigger and better things! Consider this one bad chapter among future great ones. XD_

* * *

If Mai had not been keeping a mental calendar, she would have been completely unaware of just how much time had passed since the beginning of her imprisonment. With no company but her baby, the days tended to blur together, a never-ending string of solitude and boredom woven together to make a chain.

It could have been far worse—that much she knew was true. At least she was safe, and had food and water. She tried to remain as optimistic as possible for her baby's sake, or at the very least, appreciative. Life in a cell was not one to be desired, but it also easily be seen as a small miracle.

An even greater miracle came after about a month of imprisonment. The entire prison was thrumming and echoing with the news—the war, the long, terrible war that had lasted one hundred years was finally over. The Avatar had defeated Fire Lord Ozai. And his son, Zuko, would be assuming the throne.

Mai had to admit, she shed a few tears of joy at the news. Zuko was safe. It seemed as if he had been badly injured in combat, but he was alive…her gift had not amounted to nothing.

"Do you hear that?" She whispered to her stomach. She hoped the baby was as proud as she was—his or her father had both done and was about to become something amazing.

That was hardly the beginning of it. Her uncle came to her cell, barely two days after the news of the war's end had hit the prison, a hard, sour look on his face.

"Is something wrong, uncle?" Mai inquired. To pass the time, she frequently told stories and anecdotes to her little one. In light of the recent victory, she had been telling her baby about it's father, a subject that before, she had done her best to skirt around.

"You might say that…" Her uncle growled, and brandished a letter. It appeared to be fairly short, but the handwriting looked familiar to Mai…but before she could try to get a better look at it, the Warden had crossed his arms, blocking the words from her eyes.

"Who's the letter from?"

Her uncle set his jaw, looking like he was doing his best not to snarl his answer. "Zuko."

Mai's heart leapt from her chest to an area somewhere in her throat, where it began to pound wildly. A small pang hit her as she recalled the _last _letter she had received from him…but this was different. What could it be?

"Is…is it addressed to me?" Mai did her best to keep her voice nonchalant, something she was normally a champion at. But it was hard to do so now, harder than it had been before.

"No, it's for me," The Warden explained stiffly. "But he's asking for information about you. Begging, actually."

Mai honestly had to hold back a giddy smile—but it was so difficult _not _to just break out into a beam like the sun. Zuko _hadn't _forgotten about her. She never should have doubted him.

"What are you going to tell him?"

"That you're safe," The Warden answered. "That you're perfectly safe. But that's all."

"You're…you're not telling him about the baby?" Mai asked, the sudden flood of happiness that had washed over her replaced with astonishment.

"Certainly not. I'm afraid that's up to you, Mai."

"The next time I see him…" Mai's voice trailed off, her mind momentarily wandering down the path of her imagination, wondering just what might happen between her and Zuko when they met again. Would he be happy? Disappointed?

She snapped out of her thoughts as her uncle began to turn, heading out of her cell. "Uncle!"

He pivoted at her sudden exclamation, eyebrows raised. "Yes, Mai?"

"Does…does this mean that I have a good chance at getting out of here?"

The Warden looked at her, at the lovely young woman who had somehow, someway, grown up so much in the past month, and sighed.

"Yes, Mai. I think there's a very good chance."

He left then, and he took Mai's inhibitions with him. The second he was gone, she laughed as she hadn't laughed in ages, and fell down on her back on her cot.

"What do you know?" She murmured to her stomach, finally allowing the smile to unfurl on her face. "Maybe you won't have to be born in a prison cell after all."

* * *

The Warden sat down at the desk in his office and sighed. The look on Mai's face when he had told her the news…it had broken his heart, it really had.

That was for a reason, of course. Normally, he would be delighted to see her so happy. But her joy was coming at a price…she just didn't know it yet.

In the meantime, he had a letter to respond to. He had to admit, it had came as a surprise to receive a message so soon after Ozai had been defeated, but it seemed that Zuko didn't want to waste any time.

As short as the letter was, it was great in its content. He could almost feel the young man's pain in the ink, could almost hear the desperation in his voice as Zuko pleaded with him to let him know if Mai was safe.

The Warden carefully removed a brush from the small pot of ink on his desk, and smoothed out the fresh scroll he had selected to write on.

He would respond to the soon-to-be Fire Lord, and give him an honest answer. He would tell him that she had not been harmed, and that she was safe. He would tell him he was doing the best that he could for her.

The Warden would not tell him just what the 'best' was—or rather, what it was going to be. Zuko would know soon enough, and so would Mai.

He rolled the scroll up once his message was finished and the ink was dry, and had a guard take it away to be delivered instantly. He was not sure what Zuko's next move would be once he received the letter. But the Warden knew full well what _he _was going to do next.

It was for Mai's own good. He hoped that both his niece and her former lover would realize that.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: In which things take a turn..._

_Thanks again to anyone who has reviewed. It's been brought to my attention that I tend to ramble on in my Author's Note...so I'll be keeping them shorter from now on. If anyone has a question or something of the like, just message me about it._

_As always, enjoy._

* * *

Barely a day had passed when the Warden came down to visit his niece in her cell again.

Mai at first made the foolish assumption that he had received a response from Zuko, and had swung herself up from her cot and was on her feet by the time he entered the cell.

In his hands, he was carrying her old clothes. "Put these on," He instructed by means of a hello, holding them out to her. "I'll look away."

Mai didn't need to be told twice. As soon as her uncle's back was turned, she slipped out of her itchy prison uniform, thankful to be rid of it, and got back into the clothes she hadn't worn in a month now. They felt_ right_ somehow, as if they had been waiting patiently for her to wear them once again. She noted though, with something akin to amusement, about how as hard as it had been to conceal her swollen belly inside a prison uniform—it was even harder dressed in her normal clothes.

Once he was sure she was properly clothed, her uncle turned back around to face her.

"Does this mean…I'm being let out?" Mai tried to keep her voice neutral, but the excitement bubbling up in her was almost too much to hide.

"Yes," Her uncle sighed. "Now that the war is over…it seems only fitting."

She couldn't conceal her smile now—after a month of thinking she would be trapped here forever, this unexpected gift had arrived. Hope tasted strange on her tongue. It was something she had never quite dared to sample before, but now it was filling and warming her in the most satisfactory of all ways.

"Thank you, Uncle…"

Mai felt as if her life was, at last, being put back on the right track—now she could finally return to the Fire Nation and tell Zuko the truth, the truth she had not confessed to him back when she had the chance.

"Mai…" Her uncle looked up to meet her gaze for the first time since he had stepped inside her cell. "You're being released from prison, as I now have the authority to do so…but you won't be returning back to the Fire Nation."

The bubble of joy and relief that had been swelling in Mai's chest deflated, just like that. There were few times before where she could recall seeing her uncle look so grim.

"What…what do you mean?"

"I've been in contact with your parents," The Warden explained, and right away, Mai felt her spine stiffen. It was common knowledge that her uncle and her mother did not get along…they never had, even when they were living under the same roof together. Normally, they did their best to pretend that the other one didn't exist.

But suddenly, something clicked into place. The dark look on her uncle's face, the admitting to having been in touch with his sister and brother-in-law, whom he normally disliked…it became clear then.

"You told them, didn't you?" It wasn't really a question—Mai knew the answer before she was barely done asking.

"Yes, I did." Her uncle didn't look remotely ashamed. "They have a right to know, Mai. They deserve to know that their only daughter is…expecting the now soon-to-be Fire Lord's child. They are, needless to say…displeased."

Mai could only imagine her mother's reaction. The kind of shame an illegitimate child would bring onto their household had no doubt been the only thing she had been spouting about ever since she had received the news. Her father would have no doubt been hovering in the background, bobbing his head with every other word and murmuring his assent to all that his wife said. Such was the norm in the household she had grown up in.

"What did they say?" Mai asked, surprised by just how cool her voice had turned. Her previous happiness had been snuffed out like a candle in a strong breeze, and her pragmatic mind was turning her towards the problem at hand. She needed to hear as much about the situation as she could.

"The three of us reached an agreement," Her uncle carried on. "And we all feel as if it's honestly what's best for both you…and the baby."

Mai did not like his tone. The promise of something that was the direct opposite of his words seemed to hover in the air, a feeling she could not shake off.

"Do you remember your family's beach house on Ayame Island?"

The question took Mai a bit aback—she had been steeling herself for something far more ground-breaking than that. Nevertheless, she kept her tone wary as she answered yes.

Ayame Island was not as well-known or as popular as its next-door neighbor Ember Island, but the elegant beach house had been in Mai's family for quite some time. She could distantly remember taking trips there as a little girl, none of which had been fun—most of the time was spent with her mother chasing her around with an umbrella, insisting that she keep out of the sun.

"Your parents and I have decided that it is in your best interest to send you there throughout the remainder of your pregnancy," Her uncle spoke in his usual clipped, professional voice—there was none of the warmth that it often contained when he spoke to his niece in it now. "Once the child is born, we'll decide what to do from there."

"Send…send me _away?" _Mai couldn't help but splutter, one hand instinctively flying to her stomach. "But Uncle…Zuko wants to see me again…I want to see _him _again…" She tried to keep her voice from shaking with anger, though it was proving difficult—she had vowed that if this ordeal was ever over, she would never be apart from Zuko again. Now, here her uncle was telling her he and the rest of her family were purposefully working to separate them.

"Don't act like this comes as a shock." Her uncle's voice was a bit harder now. "You're carrying the Fire Lord's bastard child in your stomach. If you returned to the capital now, it would be disastrous for you, him, and the baby too. Think of the rumors."

"You sound just like my _mother," _Mai spat at him, the blood beginning to boil in her veins. "That's exactly what she would say…always reminding me to think about reputation and nothing else."

"This is far more than just reputation, Mai," Her uncle's face grew even darker. "This is the illegitimate child of the Fire Lord…the not even _crowned _Fire Lord. Think of the talk that would break out if people heard about this. He'll already have a hard time adjusting to the position his father left behind…the _last _thing he needs is a pregnant former lover, and later, a baby to take care of."

The heat flaring up in Mai's body started to chill at her uncle's words, cooling until she felt as if she had been entirely frozen over. She sat down on her cot when her knees gave out, mulling his words over rather sluggishly in her head.

They were terrible, awful words…but they were only the truth. Zuko had more than enough on his plate now, and his burden would no doubt become greater after his coronation. He had a reputation to abolish, a voice of his own to establish…what the people of the Fire Nation needed now was a leader, not a father-to-be, much less an unwed one.

If she was to return now, right away, the people would look down on him for his child. Her mother's lesson on social skills had been tedious, but they were finally coming into play now as she realized this. There were few things that were worse for a reputation that an illegitimate child, especially one that had yet to be established. Her uncle was right…returning to the Fire Nation in her condition would be the worst possible thing she could do.

"Do you see what I mean?" Her uncle whispered, suddenly sitting down next to her and taking one of her cold hands in both of his larger ones. "At the time…going to Ayame Island is the only thing to do."

Mai nodded soundlessly, her mind still reeling. After a moment, she licked her chapped lips and choked, "I…I assume Zuko doesn't know about this."

"I didn't tell him, no," The Warden frowned once more. "Your parents didn't seem to think it was necessary. As for me, I believe you should be the one to do so…no matter what the case is, it's…it's his child. He deserves to know."

Mai bit her lip, already feeling tears prick at her eyes. Yes, Zuko certainly did deserve to know…but she had always imagined telling him face-to-face, not through a letter, as she no doubt would be doing now. But she had made a sacrifice for his sake before—and if that was what this situation required, than she would do it again.

"There's a boat waiting for you," Her uncle said quietly to her. "The house has been prepared…you'll have the run of the place, and anything you could possibly need."

Mai thought of the last house she had been alone in—back then, she _truly _had everything she could ever need. Zuko had been with her.

Now, she would have nothing but his baby and her memories of him to hold on to. If not for the sudden overwhelming urge she had to cry, she might have laughed.

She was leaving one prison just to walk into another.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Sorry for the hold on the update...things got a little busy._

_Many thanks to all of my reviewers! :D_

* * *

It was not very difficult for Mai to get ready for her trip to Ayame. She obviously did not have any possessions in prison with her, and everything she would need, including clothes, were all awaiting her on the island.

Her uncle surprised her just before she left when he presented her with a long black box. When Mai opened it, it was only to find a long row of steely knives, glinting tantalizingly in the noon day sun. There were daggers of all sizes and makes inside, and she couldn't resist reaching a finger out to the touch the cool metal. It had only been a month since she had last used weapons of any sort, but that month had been long enough.

"I thought you could use some new ones," Her uncle explained, trying to sound as formal as was possible. "Since you…misplaced all your others."

She couldn't help but hug him then, the gesture itself explaining her gratitude far better than any words could. He stood stiff for a moment, before relenting and wrapping his arms around her for a brief hug—her uncle was not a very affectionate man.

"Er, well, then…" the Warden pulled away as quickly as he could. "I think you'll, uh…make good use of them, in any case."

"I will, Uncle," Mai nodded, cradling the box of knives against her chest, just above the bump in her stomach. Unless there were any servants at the Ayame house (unlikely, as it hadn't been used in years), she was already in possession of the only two things that would keep her company during her months of exile.

Her journey to the island was uneventful—she wound up falling asleep on a bunk below deck and did not wake up until the captain came to alert her that Ayame was in sight. She plucked up her box of knives, her only possession in the world as of now, and tromped above deck to look at the island as it came into view. It loomed ahead of her like a mountain, and she couldn't help but feel a stir of trepidation.

She bid the captain goodbye when the ship docked, and walked down the gangplank that had been extended for her onto the soft sand. The gangplank was pulled up, and the captain gave the orders to turn the ship around—her last chance at escape was leaving quickly.

Mai felt a stirring in her stomach, and had to sigh. There was nothing else that could be done—she had to stay here on Ayame for the baby's sake, not to mention Zuko's.

She trudged through the sand and onto the wooden planks laid in a path that led right up to the beach house she had not seen in years. Although significantly smaller than the one on Ember Island that belonged to the royal family, it was nevertheless a grand and rather elegant building, rising out of the white sand around it like a gleaming ruby.

With a heavy heart, she climbed up the porch steps and tried to open the door, only to discover that it was unlocked. She headed inside and glanced from left to right—the interior looked the same as she could remember…almost too much the same. She would have thought that years of vacancy would have worn the place down a bit, but it looked freshly-scrubbed, as neat and pristine as if her mother was lady of the house.

"My lady!" A female voice called from down the hall, and Mai turned to see a burgundy-clad servant woman rushing up to her, a look of relief on her face. "You've arrived safely!"

"Yes, of course I have," Mai blinked, a bit taken aback. She hesitated just for a second before plowing ahead with, "No one told me that there would be any staff here."

"Of course!" The woman shook her head. "Did you honestly think you would be left here by yourself? Especially in your condition!"

It was the first Mai had heard someone state her pregnancy as a matter of fact, without pity, mockery, or contempt in their voice. The sudden realization almost got her to smile just as the servant was-almost, but not quite. She managed a weak grimace instead, but the woman seemed to view that as a positive sign.

"Come along, dear…" She swept up the staircase behind them, waving for Mai to follow her. "I bet you'd like to change out of those clothes. We'll find you something more comfortable."

Mai dutifully followed the servant upstairs. This was going to be her home now for the spirits knew how long, so the sooner she got settled in, the better.

* * *

Zuko was surrounded by a throng of cheering admirers and well-wishers, all crowding around him in the attempts to talk to him, to touch him, to even bask in his presence. It was overwhelming and gratifying all at once, but he didn't have any interest in any of that just now. After his speech at his coronation, both he and Aang had stepped down into the crowd, which, in hindsight, had probably not been a good idea.

Aang was receiving his fair share of attention too, but Zuko wished the droves swarming him would turn onto the young Avatar instead, even for a second. Now that his coronation was over, the flame-shaped crown resting proudly and yet somewhat awkwardly atop his top-knot, Zuko would have liked nothing more than to escape the jumble of adoring people.

"Zuko!" He felt a little hand plucking at his sleeve, but unalike the scattered shouts and calls that had been coming from all around him before, this voice was familiar. He turned only to see Ty Lee, clad in the green uniform and wearing the face paint that he knew belonged to the Warriors of Kyoshi, a group of female warriors that wore the same name as the island they hailed from and the Avatar that founded them both.

"Ty Lee!" He found her get-up a little odd, but that was the last thing on his mind at the time. "How did you—where did you-"

"I was moved to another prison," Ty Lee explained as quietly as she could over the noise around them. "I met the Kyoshi Warriors there, in case you were wondering!"

"Well…I…" Zuko faltered for a moment, trying to string his next words together, but decided to give up on it and merely blurt out the one question that had been pounding away in the back of his mind for ages now.

"Ty Lee, _where's Mai?"_

The easy smile on the former circus girl's face faded at an almost alarmingly quick speed. She blinked several times, as if trying to properly process his question, before asking slowly, "You…you mean she's not here already?"

"I haven't seen her," Zuko responded, the panic that he had kept at bay during his coronation starting to course through his veins, his heart beating faster in tandem. He had written a letter pleading for information about Mai to her uncle, and he had responded with the assurance that she was all right and that she would be 'at a safe place' soon.

At the time, Zuko had only assumed that that meant back in the Fire Nation, and even more so than that, back in his arms. He had thought that she might have been here today to see him crowned Fire Lord, and he had hoped that she would have gotten to witness the fact that her sacrifice for him had not been in vain. But she was not here…and he had no idea where she could be now, if she was still at the Boiling Rock or somewhere else entirely.

He didn't realize that he had been talking out loud until Ty Lee piped up, "You wrote a letter to the warden?"

"Yeah…I did…." Zuko shook himself out of his rapidly swirling thoughts to talk to her. "He said that Mai was safe…"

"Well, she must be," Ty Lee concluded, but then her voice grew rather more anxious as she asked carefully, "Did he…mention anything else in his response? Something important?"

"Not really," Zuko frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Ty Lee bit her lower lip, and lifted her gray eyes to meet Zuko's gold ones. There was something in that look alone, that even though he was surrounded on all sides by loud, joyful people, that seemed to drain all the life out of him and caused the world around him to fall mute.

"Ty Lee…what are you talking about?" His repeated question was barely a whisper.

Tears welled up in Ty Lee's eyes as she grabbed onto his arm and said in a low voice, "We need to get out of here. There's a lot you need to hear."


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: Sorry for the slow-ish update on this chapter as well._

_I hope I did a good job capturing Zuko in this part. It's a lot that's suddenly been dropped onto his shoulders._

_Thanks in advance for reading/reviewing!_

* * *

Mai settled into her new life on Ayame Island with far more grace than she had at the beginning of her stay at the Boiling Rock. She found that as she wasn't trapped in a tiny jail cell, her pregnancy was proving to be much more enjoyable—still a rather lonely affair, but not as horrible as it once had been.

She no longer depended on her baby as the one reason to keep her alive—now it was up to her to be the reason as to why he or she was still alive. On Ayame, Mai was sure to take long walks and eat healthy food. Anything she needed was provided by the servants, and both she and her baby reaped the benefits of having fresh fruit grown and picked right there on the island.

Mai also took great care to get a proper amount of sleep each night—she wanted to stay as healthy and as well-rested as was possible for her baby. As she had done in prison, Mai allowed herself time to think about Zuko as she lay in the dark before she fell asleep, the gentle sound of the waves washing over the sand the only noise in the background.

Being back on the beach reminded her of her and Zuko's first time on Ember Island, the night that they no doubt had conceived the child in her stomach right now. She had been nervous then, a little scared about giving herself up in such a way, but she had been so excited at the same time, so ready to share such an experience with the young man that she loved more than life itself.

She didn't know if she would ever see him again now. No doubt his duties as the new Fire Lord were keeping him busy around the clock, and he had greater things to worry about than his old girlfriend. But it was so very tempting to hope that maybe, just maybe, she was on his mind, even if just for little stints at a time.

The baby got the hiccups one night when Mai was lying in bed, lost in thought. The sudden bubbly sensation inside of her belly caused her to at first squeak in surprise, and then laugh. It was bizarre, rather funny-feeling, but oddly pleasant.

She wished more than anything that Zuko could be here to share this with her. She pictured his dark hair splayed out across the pale skin of her swollen belly as he pressed his head to the curve, listening to the child inside of her. She imagined his own laugh, hoarse and ragged with delight, and felt the kiss he planted onto her skin then.

Mai cut herself off there and then, before her imagination could carry her any further. She was a sensible, practical girl, and she knew full well that the scene she had just conjured in her head would never come to pass.

But it was night time. She was alone, so there was no one to judge her for her silly thoughts. If this was the only way she could ever be with Zuko again, she would accept it. Mai closed her eyes once again, and drifted back into a dream.

* * *

To say that Zuko fell apart when Ty Lee told him the news would have been a bit of an understatement.

Ty Lee had not been sure previously that human begins were capable of making the anguished noises coming from the newly-crowned Fire Lord, and she was certain that she had never seen anyone come this close to what looked like physically breaking to pieces, not even Mai after Zuko had left her.

Mai had been hollow, an empty shell of the girl that had been blossoming to life under the love of the young prince. Zuko looked like he was burning alive.

He was standing when Ty Lee first informed him of Mai's condition, which in hindsight, she shouldn't have allowed. For when the actual words left her mouth, Zuko jolted, like a bolt of lightning had just hit him in the chest once again. His face drained of what little color it possessed, turning nearly an ashy gray, and his mouth formed silent words of horror, words that he simply couldn't express out loud.

Zuko let out a moan then and slid to the floor, his knees giving out from under him. Ty Lee remembered the crumpled form of Mai as she lay in bed, the weight of her grief pressing down on her like an actual weight, but pushed the comparison out of her mind before crouching beside the Fire Lord.

"Zuko?" She rested a hand on his shoulder. It was shaking, as was the rest of his body, and his face was now buried in his hands. The most awful keening noises were emerging from him as he quaked, and Ty Lee bit her lip, unsure just what she could do or say.

"Zuko?" She tried again, desperate to hear him say something, to say anything, so long as it was not the sounds coming from him right now.

He lifted his head up to meet him gaze and Ty Lee instinctively flinched back. His gold eyes were stretched wide, and they looked like the eyes of a man who was being burned at the stake, staring in silent horror as the world fell to ashes around them. Tears were visible in them as well, though Ty Lee wasn't sure if he even knew.

"She's…_pregnant," _Zuko choked the word out, his voice barely audible. "It's mine, of course it's mine…but it's my fault…this is all my fault…"

Tears were now visibly tracking down his face now, and before Ty Lee could intervene in any kind of way, he had broken down into sobs, nearly collapsing onto the floor.

She was quick to act, and wrapped her arms around him before he could hit the floor. She remembered how, when one of her little sisters would wake up crying from a bad dream, she would always hug her to her and whisper comforting words to her, maybe even sing her a lullaby into the nightmare faded and sleep stole over her.

Without fully thinking about it, Ty Lee began to stroke Zuko's hair, murmuring reassuring words into his ears. She let him fall to pieces all around her, and she did what Mai would have done in that same situation—she simply let him know that she was there, and that in this moment, he was welcome to shatter.

It could have been minutes, hours, or perhaps even days. But finally, Zuko's wails of despair died down, ebbing until they became nothing more than little whimpers and ragged whispers of Mai's name. He was still trembling, and he did so for a long time after his sobs had faded. Finally, he went completely still in her arms.

Ty Lee glanced curiously down at him, just in time to see him detangle himself from her arms. He was wiping his face with his hand, and she saw a kind of hard, blazing determination settling over him, burning out the sorrow that had been weighing him down previously.

"What…what are you doing?" She dared to ask, remaining seated on the cool floor.

"I need to send a letter," Was all Zuko replied, before turning and heading off down the hallway at a fast pace, the burning man running away from his stake and into the sunlight.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: I'm extremely proud of how this chapter turned out. There isn't any Mai in it, which is a first, but it's still an important chapter. _

_Mai will be in the next one, and yes, we'll get to some Maiko soon...I'm just as anxious for some as you guys are, be assured of that! :D_

* * *

The Warden had been expecting a letter at most. Something indignant and full of demands, as full of rage as the last letter had been full of desperation. He had been prepared to deal with a letter.

What he had _not _been expecting, or in any way planning for, was for the Fire Lord himself to arrive at The Boiling Rock.

"Sir, the Fire Lord's here to see you." A guard arrived at his office with the news, and the Warden nearly spat out the tea he had been drinking. Zuko? _Here?_

"Bring him in here," the Warden growled, seizing ahold of some of his composure. The guard nodded and sped off to complete his task, leaving the Warden to try and collect himself. The Fire Lord could only be here because Mai had not returned to the Fire Nation, as he had undoubtedly been expecting. It went without saying that he would demand to know where she was, but the Warden resolved to keep his lips sealed. He would not disclose that sort of information to Zuko if he threatened him with banishment.

The door was opened with a sharp bang, and the Warden, who had been seated at his desk, staring broodingly into space, turned his head so fast he cricked his neck.

Zuko did not look very much like a Fire Lord—his clothes were casual, his hair the same mop it had been when he had been a prisoner in this very place. But there was a kind of aura around him, a sort of power that seemed to radiate from him, and the gleam in his golden eyes was so fierce, it almost rattled the seasoned warden.

Almost. But the Warden refused to be cowed by a man years younger than him, regardless of his title. Zuko had been Fire Lord for barely two weeks now, and he had been in charge of this prison for far longer than that. He refused to get to his feet, but remained sitting, facing his niece's former lover unflinchingly.

"Where is she?" The words flew from Zuko's mouth like flames themselves, burning and full of heat. "Where's Mai?"

"I'm afraid that's none of your concern," the Warden's voice was tight, like a steel trap clamped over the unfortunate animal who had made the mistake of wandering into it.

"It's _entirely _my concern!" Zuko spat, and the Warden saw flames flicker at his clenched fists. The men standing guard in the doorway shifted, looking uneasy.

"She's in a safe place," the Warden said tersely, continuing to meet Zuko's enraged gaze. "That's all you need to know. There's no need for you to lose any more sleep over her…not that you did in the first place."

If looks could kill, the Warden was positive he would be dead before he hit the floor. For a moment, the flash in the Fire Lord's eyes was the single most horrifying thing he had ever seen in his entire lifetime. A more cowardly man than he surely would have buckled at the sight.

"You don't know," Zuko spoke through tightly gritted teeth, sounding as if he was holding back a stream of fire that longed to burst forth. "You don't know just how many nights I spent worrying about her…hoping that she was all right…and now, just when I thought I might get to her again…"

He cut off there, and the Warden at first assumed it was because he was stifling the urge to spout fire every which way. But instead, a sort of strangled, choking noise came from the younger man, and the Warden watched in slight horror as all the fight seemed to drain out of him, his body shaking like it wanted to deposit him onto the stone cold floor. He lowered his head for a moment, and the Warden distinctly heard what sounded like a dry sob before he managed to look back up.

"Ty Lee told me that she's pregnant. She's _pregnant. _And it's my fault, it's all my fault…"

The Warden couldn't believe that the wide-eyed girl who had been imprisoned with Mai, who had been her friend, would have gone and told the truth to Zuko like that. Regardless of the fact that it was indeed his child at hand, he felt as if Mai should have been the one to deliver the news on her own time, whenever she felt ready to do so. The fact that Zuko had heard from someone else rather miffed him. Both this and Zuko starting to speak again made him keep his mouth closed for the time being.

"She must have been so scared…so scared, and I'm the one to blame for it…"

Zuko sounded like he was on the brink of dissolving into sobs, and if that happened, the Warden could be at an extreme loss as to what to do with him. He had to intervene now, before things got out of control.

"Blaming yourself isn't going to get you anywhere," the Warden spoke curtly, even though a silent part of him agreed with the Fire Lord. "What's done is done. My niece has moved on to a quieter, far happier life. She'll be safe there, out of the public eye for a little while until she feels ready to leave, whether it's to come back to the Fire Nation or not."

"Why did you send her there?" Zuko demanded, and the crumbling man moments before was replaced by the blazing one from earlier. "She could have came back to the Fire Nation! I would have taken care of her, and the baby too…I would have loved them both…"

It was amazing; the Warden noted dryly, just how easily this young man's mood and tone changed. He had gone from burning with a kind of fury to wilting with sorrow in a matter of seconds, but neither one held any merit to the older man.

"An unborn bastard child would have done horrors for your new reputation," the Warden pointed out tartly. "You already have the public eye trained onto you, watching your every move, waiting for you to slip up or for you to live up to the promise of change that you have promised your nation. Now is possibly the worst time of all for a pregnant girl, and later, an illegitimate baby, to suddenly be thrust upon you."

"So now it's for _my _own good that Mai's gone?" Zuko spat.

"It's for both you _and _her's," the Warden explained testily. "You don't seem to understand that. She didn't either, not at first, but she saw the light eventually."

"She was thinking of me…" Zuko murmured through lips that sounded half-frozen. "Of course, she wouldn't have thought of returning to the Fire Nation then, not if she thought it would cause me any grief…"

He ran an agitated hand through his hair, still muttering under his breath. The Warden watched him silently, waiting to see what his next move would be.

"I'm sorry…but this doesn't change my mind," Zuko squarely met his eyes once again, a kind of steely determination in his voice now. "Even if she doesn't come back to the Fire Nation with me, I still need to see her."

The Warden was taken aback momentarily—he had expected Zuko to bow his head, to nod once, and then take his leave, understanding that it was all for the best. Once again, the Fire Lord had taken him by surprise.

"I think it would still be best if-"

"_Please," _Zuko said, and to the Warden's shock, he bowed, right on his knees on the stone floor to a man levels below him when it came to political power. His forehead nearly grazed the floor as he continued. "I need to say I'm sorry. I owe her that, and I'm sure you agree. I've made so many mistakes over the course of my life…I don't want this to be yet another one. I love your niece, and I know you do too. I hurt her, but I want to apologize to her. Neither you nor she has to forgive me…but you both need to hear me."

If the Warden had been blown away before, it was nothing compared to how he felt now. Gazing down at the top of Zuko's dark head, bowed to him in a sign of submission and respect, he had never felt more unnerved before in his entire life. Zuko could have just have easily ordered him to tell Mai's whereabouts, or forced the answer out of him in some other way. Instead, he had chosen to present himself in such a way that no Fire Lord before had had the humbleness to do so—or the courage.

The Warden swallowed once, and thought of how his niece's face had lit up when he had told her that he had received a message from the Fire Lord. Zuko might not be worthy to bring her such joy…but Mai deserved an apology. She deserved to see him again, even if it would be the last time she ever did so.

"Get up," The Warden found his voice again as he got to his own feet. "You're belittling yourself, and I've got directions to give you."


	16. Chapter 16

Mai awoke early in the morning, to the sounds of the waves gently washing over the shore and gulls crying in the distance.

For a moment, she could have almost pictured Zuko lying next to her, curled around her with his hair falling into his face, breathing softly as he slumbered on. She would have turned, slowly so as not to rattle the baby too much, and stroked his face until he woke up—and then the first thing that he would see would be her warm, loving smile.

Mai pushed the image out of her mind as she awkwardly got to her feet and stretched. It seemed like her imagination, once a thing that had scarcely been used, had suddenly burst into life while here on Ayame. Zuko intruded into her thoughts just as often as he had in prison, if not more so. She both welcomed and shunned the daydreams she would subconsciously undergo about him—they were both a gift and a curse, a painful reminder of what had once been, but what could now only exist in her dreams.

She felt a rap in her belly as she was getting dressed, and had to smile.

"You're right," Mai said out loud, rubbing her stomach as the loose material of her casual dress settled over it. "I've got other things to think about just now. Like those raspberries the servants promised us for breakfast yesterday, remember?"

There was an affirmative kick, and Mai smiled as she put her hair up. She made her way downstairs and into the airy, spacious kitchen, and had her breakfast there, raspberries with cream, as had been promised.

After breakfast, Mai sat outside on a veranda with a book she had been reading for the past few days now, and managed to finish it. After a quick lunch, she took her usual walk along the beach, without an umbrella. These days, she was learning to soak up the sun's rays instead of blocking herself from them.

When she returned to the house, the servants all seemed to be in a state of general confusion and panic. A great many of them were hurrying about the place, seeing to their ordinary tasks and daily duties at a quicker, almost frantic pace.

"What's going on?" Mai asked the closest one, a man desperately fluffing the pillows on one of the couches just so.

"There's a balloon that's been spotted, my lady," He answered, taking the time to bow to her in respect. "A Fire Nation balloon, my lady. It's flying right towards Ayame."

For the first time since she had set foot on Ayame Island, Mai found herself short of breath. Her heart seemed to skip a beat, and she was willing to bet that, if someone checked, they would find she had no pulse.

"My lady?" The servant asked in concern, no doubt noticing the sudden stricken expression on her face.

_Calm down, _Mai silently told her, her mouth suddenly feeling very, very dry. _Don't jump to a conclusion like that. It doesn't mean what you think it does, not at all. It couldn't be him. It just couldn't be._

But who else would be coming to the little island? If it was her parents, they would have taken a ship, and likewise with her uncle. She was fairly certain none of them even owned a war balloon, unless they had decided to invest in one since the last time she had seen them.

It seemed impossible, but Mai didn't dare to ponder on the other possibility that had skittered across her brain. "Let's…let's go outside then," She decided out loud, talking to no one, before pivoting almost mechanically, and heading out the door.

A couple servants hurried after her, and she and the rest of the group made their way down the stone walkway and onto the white sand of the beach, looking towards the skies. Sure enough, a bright red object was flying right towards the island—it was quite obviously a balloon, the insignia of the Fire Nation was getting more and more visible the closer it got.

"Who do you think it could be?" Asked a female servant anxiously, her eyes wide.

No one answered her, and Mai felt the sudden urge to whirl back around, run into the house, and hide until the end of all time. _Relax, _She scolded herself once more. _It's just Uncle…it's probably just Uncle. _

But it was not the Warden. The balloon had finally gotten close enough to land on the beach, and it was now starting to cruise on a downward slant, aiming for an easy landing on the soft sand. The figure in the basket wasn't built the same way Mai's uncle was, and his skin looked fairer.

Nevertheless, Mai still might have been able to trick herself into believing that it wasn't anyone of great importance, until the balloon drew even closer—and she could have sworn that there was an ugly pink mark over this newcomer's left eye.

That did it—Mai turned and hurried back into the house, her heart, in contrast to earlier, now beating so quickly it seemed liable to burst out of her chest at any given moment. She had been imagining it, she surely must have been imagining it, there was no way for her to _really _tell if the newcomer had a burn mark over his eye…

"My lady, you look a fright!" A middle-aged, motherly servant reprimanded her gently. "Here, sit down and I'll run and fetch you a glass of something cool to drink."

Mai's knees were shaking so much, they gladly gave out from under her, and she was lucky enough to land on a couch. She found that the rest of her body was trembling too, and even when she hugged herself, the shaking did not relent.

It couldn't be, she told herself, swallowing the bitter pill of the lie. It simply couldn't be him.

* * *

Outside, the servants watched as the balloon landed with a soft bump onto the white sand. A dark-haired young man pulled something inside, and with a long hiss, the fire burning inside to keep the balloon activated died out.

There might have been a little door from which to exit the basket with, but this strange young man obviously decided he didn't need it, and leapt clear over the basket itself, landing with surprisingly grace in the sand.

"Er…and what brings you here?" One of the bolder servants dared to ask the newcomer, who, despite looking rather sloppy, had an air around him that suggested he was not one to be trifled with.

"Mai," Was all he answered, barreling past the cluster of servants without looking back once. "I need to see Mai."


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: Oh my gawd, finally. Let me just say that I was every bit as anxious for Mai and Zuko to reunite as you all were. Bu they're not out of the woods yet..._

_As always, enjoy! The wait is finally over. This chapter also seems very short, but it hits my usual 1000+ mark...and I don't like to write long chapters, because I don't like to read long chapters. I apologize if anyone finds them too short for their liking._

* * *

When Zuko first laid eyes on Mai again, it was like everything, everything else in the entire world, had simply fallen away.

He couldn't think about anything else—there _wasn't _anything else but her, for nothing else existed. Seeing her again was like a formerly blind man who had suddenly gained vision looking into the sun for the first time—he couldn't look away, even if he wanted to.

She looked as beautiful as the last time he had seen her, arms wrapped around herself and long dark hair streaming down her back in a shining, raven waterfall. It was all he could do not to run over and bury his face in it and inhale, all he could do not to lose himself in her as he had done countless times before.

Her face was lowered, but Zuko could tell by the way her shoulders hunched that she had had heard him come in. Mai didn't move to stand up and leave, which he took as a good sign—but nor did she stand up and walk over to him, which sunk his heart, just a little.

But what had he honestly expected? For her to just fall back into his arms with an adoring look on her face, words of love on her lips? He had left her to die, more or less, back when they last saw each other at The Boiling Rock, back when she had saved him…the guilt wormed into his stomach and twisted around his heart like a poisonous weed, and without thinking about it, his eyes darted to her own belly.

Even from here in the doorway he could see how swollen it was, how much larger it was than the last time he had been this close to her. In his mind's eye, he could see her confronting him at The Boiling Rock, berating him for leaving her in such a crude fashion, and felt a lurch when he realized that at the time; Mai had been nursing far more hurt than just that over being left a letter. The baby, _his _baby, had been inside her then, and he could only imagine all the pain she had been undergoing, and had been ever since.

Maybe she wanted nothing more to do with him. Maybe she wanted to spend the rest of her life here on this quiet little island, away from everyone, with no one but a handful of servants and a baby to take care of. Maybe she didn't want the baby at all. A thousand different scenarios, apologies, questions, and pleas whirled through her mind, and before Zuko could choose just one to voice, he had rushed over in front of Mai, and fallen to his knees before her.

"Mai…" He choked, resisting the urge to reach up and touch her as best as he could. "Mai, I know I'm probably one of the last people you're expecting to see, and I wouldn't blame you if you told me to leave…but please, let me talk, for just for a minute."

She didn't say anything, but Zuko dared to look up, and through the dark fringe of his bangs, he saw her give just a tiny, jerky little nod.

He didn't want to kneel anymore. Her uncle had deserved his respect and his humbleness, and Mai did too, but she deserved more than just that—she deserved his _love. _He sat up on his knees, and dared to reach out and take ahold of her hands, moving them away from her arms and holding them in his.

They were surprisingly cold, and Mai jerked her head up to meet his gaze then, her eyes wide. He tried to read them, tried to find the slightest gleam of love in them, but if there was, it was hidden well—he only saw shock.

But she did not try to push him away or say a word of her own, so Zuko plunged ahead. As he had done when he had apologized to his Uncle Iroh, he didn't think about what he was saying, but let the words flow right from his heart.

"I'm so sorry, Mai…" He whispered, never once looking away from her. "I'm so sorry that all this has happened to you, and I haven't been here to help you through it."

He went to continue, but Mai suddenly pulled one of her hands away from his. Zuko froze, thinking she was about to leave, but instead, she gently rested one finger against his lips, keeping him from talking any further.

The gesture, as simple as it was, was so unspeakably intimate, that Zuko felt a small shiver run up his spine. The urge to kiss her finger suddenly wildly overtook him, and he had to shove the desire down deep in order not to act upon it.

"Zuko," Mai spoke, calmly and clearly, her eyes still betraying nothing. "You did what you had to do. I had a lot of time to think in prison…almost too much time. But I thought it over, and if I was to be angry at you for doing something you believed in _that _much…what kind of person would that make me?"

She took a small breath, and as serious as the words she was speaking were, another shiver coursed through Zuko again—he simply couldn't help it. The desire to take her in his arms was welling up inside of him, and he didn't know if he could manage to suppress it.

"You did the right thing," Mai said, and suddenly, the finger on his lips moved, her whole hand cupping his cheek now, her thumb lightly grazing over the skin there. "You were right, all along…you were helping your country, even if I didn't see that at the time. And now…you'll make a wonderful Fire Lord, Zuko, just the kind of leader our nation needs. I accept your apology, but-"

This time, it was Zuko's turn to interrupt. Before Mai could carry on, he had leaned upwards, and kissed her as he had wanted to kiss for months now. She gasped and he felt her shudder, but in a way he knew she did only when around him—when her need and her love were quaking throughout her entire body.

There were too many things he wanted to do, he wanted to cup her face, to wrap his arms around her, and so much more, but in the end, his hands went to her head, gently cradling it and keeping her anchored into him as he spoke a thousand words without actually saying a single one, kissing her as if all his longing and passion could be poured into her.

There was no hesitation when Mai kissed him back—she was through with pretending, done with hiding her feelings behind an emotionless mask. She felt actual tears well up at the feel of Zuko, the warmth of him, the love that was swelling inside of her leaking out through her eyes as she embraced him, all traces of despair, sorrow, and bitterness melting away in the warmth and the shining radiance of what was the two of them.

However, they could not get as close as they would have liked to have been. There was something separating them, an obstacle that both of them seemed to have forgotten about in the heat and the passion of the moment.

Mai and Zuko broke apart, and they each looked down at the bump in her stomach


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: I think I'm trying to make up for the story's previous lack of Maiko with this and the following chapters. XD_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

"Mai…" Zuko whispered, lifting his head back up to look at her. Her eyes were closed, like she didn't want to see his reaction to her swollen stomach, like she couldn't bear to look at him.

"Mai, look at me," His voice was firm, a borderline command. He wanted her to give him her utmost attention right now, to not be afraid to meet his gaze as he spoke these next words, because they were to going some of the most sincere ones he'd ever spoken in his life.

She opened her eyes slowly, a curtain being drawn up, and looked into his own. He saw love for him there, yes, but also a faint glimmer of fear. She was scared; however she tried to hide it, of what his reaction would be.

"I'm not going to love you any less because of the baby," Zuko insisted, cupping her face in his hands, framing it with his palms. "I already think that I love you _more _because of it."

Mai swallowed hard once, but the ghost of a smile flickered onto her face.

"Mai…" Zuko stroked across her cheek with the pad of his thumb, wanting, no _needing, _to make her understand the next part of his little sermon.

"Your uncle told me why he decided to send you here…and he also told me how you agreed with it."

She bobbed her head, a tiny little nod, and Zuko had to take a deep breath before continuing.

"You both seem to think that by you being in the Fire Nation, you and the baby are going to ruin my career before it even starts."

Another nod.

"Mai…" Zuko felt honest tears prick his eyes. "Did you honestly think that something like _that _would matter to me when you're in a condition like this? All I've wanted these past few months is to have you with me again…"

He saw surprise flit across her face, just for a moment, and she opened her mouth, finally ready to do some talking of her own. "It's not that I didn't want to come back to you…but I just _can't. _Right now, this baby and I would destroy your future."

"You would _become _my future," Zuko shot back. "I want you, _both _of you, to _be _there in my future. I can't just leave you here and pretend everything else is fine."

"You'd always know where to find us," Mai remarked with a small, bitter smile. "And besides…someday, I'm sure, you could find another girl and have lots of little babies with her…babies that a nation won't look down upon."

She pulled away from him then, detangling herself from the warmth the pair of them had been wrapped in just moments before, and stood up, ignoring Zuko's startled squawk of her name.

Mai pushed open a door and walked out onto a veranda, looking out at the sea. A warm, soft breeze blew, and her loose strands of dark hair floated in the wind. This wasn't so bad a place to live; really…she could raise her baby here.

Zuko came up behind her and simply watched her for a minute, taking in the slight hunch to her shoulder, the way her head was bowed. She looked utterly defeated. It was a stark contrast from the last time Zuko had seen her at The Boiling Rock, blazing full of a fiery determination to save his life. He concluded that, in a way, that's what Mai must have felt like she was doing now. She was keeping herself and her unborn child out of the way, out of public eyes, to avoid tarnishing his reputation.

As much as he disagreed with it, he felt a lump rise in his throat. Mai wanted to be with him too…his still kiss-swollen lips proved as much. She loved him just as much as he loved her, and therefore, was making a sacrifice, another sacrifice to keep him safe. She might not have felt like it was his life on the line again…but it was. Mai was his life, and if she refused to come back to the Fire Nation with him, it just might kill him.

He had to persuade her. He would get down on his hands and knees again and beg if that was what it came to. Zuko recalled the Warden's words, about how this choice would be the best for Mai too, but a small voice inside of him, one that was growing louder, completely disagreed with that.

Mai needed to be love. Their unborn baby needed to be loved. And he knew that Mai didn't _want _to be loved by anyone but him.

"Mai, please…" His arms encircled her from behind, and for a moment, he felt her stiffen. "Please…" He whispered into her ear. "Come back to the Fire Nation with me…I'll take care of both you and the baby…"

Zuko's hands were trembling slightly as they rested on top of her swollen stomach. He felt her gasp, but he refused to move them. Her belly was round and surprisingly smooth and he suddenly longed to be able to touch her bare skin, to run his hands along the curve without anything in the way.

He felt it then, a sharp nudge against his hand from underneath Mai's skin, and he couldn't help but suck in his breath. The baby, _his _baby, was greeting him. His baby was saying hello.

"I think he likes you…" Mai whispered as more and more kicks came from inside her, like the baby knew its father was finally here with it now.

"I already love him…" Zuko answered, and felt the tears sting his eyes once more. This time, there wasn't any stopping them. They tracked down his face, falling silent and slow, and he couldn't help but bury his face in Mai's silky, ebony hair.

"Please, Mai…if you won't come back to the Fire Nation with me…let me stay here a few days. Let me be with you again, just for a little while…"

Mai longed to tell him just how badly she wanted him to stay forever, just how much she wished he could leave the Fire Nation behind and live here with her and their baby, away from the rest of the world and without a care in the world but each other and their new little family.

But of course, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not yet. Zuko's hands on her stomach were warm, and the need to have him touch her bare skin was beginning to rise inside of her. She heard his request, heard the ache straining in his voice, and knew that even if she had wanted to, she'd never be able to deny him.

Mai gave her consent in the form of another nod, and felt him sigh in relief. Zuko kissed her neck then, inhaling the scent there, and it was all she could do to hold back a moan.

"Thank you," He murmured, and she felt the tears on his face pressed onto her neck. She wondered if he could sense the ones she was inwardly shedding


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: Hey everyone! Let me apologize for my absence...between school, work, and writer's block, this chapter took me a long time to finish._

_In any case, I hope you all enjoy it-this chapter is a reminder as to why the fic's rated T, and there's some Maiko fluff...I hope that makes up for the delay._

* * *

For the first few days of Zuko's stay on Ayame, he slept in a different room than Mai. The two ate their meals together and spent most of, if not the entire day in each other's company, but when nighttime came, there was a mutual, unspoken agreement between them that would be separated.

They would bid each other goodnight and Zuko would perhaps press a kiss to Mai's lips, and then they would part. A chunk of time after their separating would be spent wondering if the other one was thinking of them, and longing to be in the other's arms, before a restless sort of sleep would steal over them.

However, when the evening of the fourth day came, Mai found herself clutching onto Zuko during their goodnight kiss, clinging to him and preventing him from pulling away.

"Mai…" Zuko pulled away, confusion painted on his face.

"I want you," Mai panted against his lips, her heart aching in her chest for him, crying out his name. "I _need _you. Please…please don't leave me alone tonight…"

Zuko couldn't believe just how much emotion was throbbing in her voice—he could very easily remember a time when the only sound falling from her mouth was a dull, monotonic rasp. The pure, raw passion spilling out of her was enough to send a shiver up his spine.

He stamped another kiss onto her lips, murmuring as he did so, "Of course, Mai…anything you want…"

Mai breathed a sigh of relief, and guided him into her room. Zuko shucked his shirt off, deciding his pants were comfortable enough to sleep in, and turned around only to see Mai struggling with the removal of her own dress, the large bump of her stomach preventing the normally smooth glide of taking off clothes.

Zuko felt a pang strike him deep inside at the sight, but walked back to her, moving behind her. "Let me help you," He breathed into her ear, and he felt her shiver against him. She nodded though, and he knew he had her permission.

"Lift your arms up," He instructed, and she did so. Zuko took a hold of the hem of her dress and slowly began to drag it up, revealing inch by inch of Mai's skin, with the air of someone opening a present as languidly as they could, trying to savor the moment. When his hands ghosted over her now-exposed belly, it was all he could do not to keep them there, to rest them on the mound. But he finished his task—within a few moments, he had pulled the dress off of Mai and thrown it onto a nearby chair.

Mai turned her whole body to look at him, and Zuko had to bite back the groan that threatened to spill out of him. In light of her slightly swollen, highly tender breasts, it seemed like, for the time being, she had decided to do away with breast bindings, leaving her now solely in her underwear.

"Come on," She smiled at him as she took ahold of both his hands. "Let's go to bed."

Zuko attempted to fight the thoughts now dancing through her mind, and actually succeeded when Mai gently pushed him over onto her bed. He wriggled around, trying to get comfortable, as Mai slid underneath the cool silk sheets beside him.

Zuko's eyes turned onto her, and he couldn't stop the sigh that escaped him. She looked so pale and perfect in the moonlight shining in through the large window, raven hair shining and spilling over her bare shoulders, a sleepy, peaceful look across her features…

He suddenly couldn't bear it. With slightly shaky fingers, he grabbed onto the sheet on top of Mai…and began to pull it down.

He heard her inhale, and pressed closer to her, silently assuring her with his eyes that it was all right. Her amber gaze met his, and he saw no fear or confusion there—just love, and the same contentment as was on her face before.

Zuko kept pulling the sheet down, but he didn't stop at just her breasts (although it was, admittedly, very tempting). He bunched the sheet underneath the swell of Mai's stomach, and sucked in his breath.

It looked larger, far more intimate and _real _now than it did hidden underneath Mai's clothes. It was perfectly round, a tiny hill rising out of her body…it was so achingly perfect, it took his breath away.

Tentatively, his hands shaking as much as they had been earlier, Zuko reached out and rested his hands on the curve. Mai did not flinch, or tense up—rather, she wriggled a little closer to him.

It was so smooth and soft beneath his fingers, but firm too. And it was warm. He wondered if the baby knew, safe inside its mother's womb, that its father was getting as close to it as he could, loving him with every last bit of his heart.

He felt it then, a little kick—and he couldn't stop the tears pricking his eyes. Zuko bent his head over Mai's stomach, the ends of his shaggy dark hair brushing against the skin there, and pressed a soft, tender kiss to the mound, his heart trembling in his chest.

Mai reached a hand out and began to stroke his hair, repeating the motion again and again as Zuko rested his head carefully on her belly, listening to his baby—_their _baby—shift and move around inside its mother.

"You love him, don't you?" Mai broke the silent after a few minutes of it, her voice still quiet.

"I love him," Zuko whispered. "I wish he was here with us now…"

For the first time that night, he felt it—Mai stiffened, just a little. He lifted his head up to look curiously into her eyes, but she had turned her head away.

"Mai? What's wrong?"

She didn't say a word, but she rolled over so her back was to him. Zuko nearly keened at the loss of contact with her stomach, and had half a mind to flip her back over on her back—but Mai had already pulled the covers up, the best sort of barrier she could form.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and lay back down, watching her profile in the moonlight. He wanted to talk to her, so bad…but he didn't get the feeling she would say anything back.

Zuko's eyelids were just beginning to droop when Mai spoke up, her voice ragged like she had been shedding silent tears.

"I'll be sure to let him know, someday, just how much you loved him."


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N: Yay! :D_

_I think this fic should go on for a few more chapters, before it comes to a close. So hard to believe. DDD:_

_But that brings me to another question: **is anyone interested in reading a sequel? **If so, let me know in a review. :)_

_Thanks so much for reading!_

* * *

As much as Zuko longed to stay for every other day of his life on Ayame with Mai and later their baby, he knew it simply couldn't be done. He had an entire nation underneath him now, a whole country that had to pick itself up after a century-long war—and what was more, that same country had to redeem itself to the world it had tried to destroy, at least in his eyes. It was only going to be an uphill climb from here on out, and he couldn't spend any more time here on this little island.

He told Mai this over breakfast, and he watched as her shoulders suddenly hunched. She been glaring down at the bread with jelly she was eating, but at his words, her head seemed to bow even lower. He took the sight of her in for a minute, afraid of what was coming next—and when she finally lifted her head, he was unsurprised to find them shining with unshed tears, as they had been when she had met his gaze back in The Boiling Rock, after he had shut her inside that cell before making his escape.

When she spoke, her voice was hollow, flat—dead. "Your country needs you now, Zuko. Frankly, I'm amazed you spent as much time here as you did."

He could detect it behind the dull voice—the slight break, the little crack that he knew if he kept chipping away at, would eventually stretch wide enough for her true emotions to burst loose. This served as an inspiration to him as he set down his chopsticks, staring at her intently with golden eyes as he said softly, honestly, "I wish I could spend the rest of my life here, with you and the baby. But I have to go back to the Fire Nation."

She didn't answer, but he saw her shoulders jerk, just once, like they were trying not to shake. Zuko, however, was not done talking. As much as his statement had sounded complete, it was really anything but that. These past few days, he had been mulling over a certain subject, one he now finally had the courage to turn into actual words.

"Mai, I want you to come back with me." Zuko stood up, moving around the table so he was kneeling next to her. "Mai…I want you to come back and marry me."

Her eyes flew open then, and she flinched back instinctively. "Marry you?"

"Yes…" Zuko couldn't help himself—he had to pick her hand up and rub it gently with his thumb, never taking his eyes off of her. She had to know how much this meant to him, how much _she _meant to him. If he was going to lose her again, he would go down fighting for her. "Please, Mai…I would have married you within a year if you would have had me by the time I returned to the Fire Nation as it was. You say you won't come back because of what the baby will do to my career—so marry me. He can have a legitimate father or whatever you were going off about if that's so important to you—and it is to me to. I don't _want _him or her to grow up without a father. I want to be there for him, always…I want to be there for you…"

Zuko thought that the words had came out in a rush, and perhaps they had sounded a bit stupid—but he had been completely honest. He had spoken from nowhere but his heart. If Mai rejected him now, he would refuse to break into pieces, because she was worth fighting for. Nevertheless, he held his breath as he waited for her response.

Complete and total silence had fallen over the little balcony as Mai looked into his eyes, and he saw the tears were beginning to fight their way out now—it occurred to him that he had never seen Mai cry before, and right away, he wanted to kill himself for being the one to cause her tears. That was, until he noticed that she was starting to smile too.

There was love in her eyes, so much love Zuko could almost feel himself physically warmed by it, even if Mai wasn't a Bender herself.

"Zuko, you idiot…" She didn't even make an attempt to wipe her eyes with her free hand, but rather, brought it to cup his face in a simple, yet powerful motion that sent shivers down his spine. "All you had to do was ask."

"So…so you will?" Zuko couldn't help but splutter, joy making his heart race. Could it really be this easy?

"I will…but Zuko, it'll need to be a quick wedding," Mai's smile faded just a little as she bit down slightly on her lower lip. "I'm due in at least two months, maybe before that."

"That's all right," Zuko was close to choking on his delight now, the urge to sweep Mai up and cover her in kisses was surging through him at lighting fast speeds. "The sooner the better…"

He leaned in to kiss her then, no longer able to help himself, but Mai turned her head to the side. His lips met her cheek instead, and he pulled back just a little bit, confusion and detection sweeping over him like a tide. "Mai?"

"It's just…the only reason you're doing this is because of the baby, isn't it?"

Relief replaced the confusion then, and a smile fluttered back onto his face as he cupped her face in both his hands, turning it to look back over at him. "Weren't you listening? Mai…you're the _only_ one for me. Why would I want to _wait?"_

"You've never been very patient," She chided him gently, and he could see his own relief reflected in her eyes, his own love shining back at him in the form of her beautiful, soft smile. "I'm going to need to work on that."

His heart swooped upwards then, fluttering madly away in his chest, as he dared to whisper out, "Is that a yes, then?"

Mai didn't answer him verbally just then—instead, she brought herself closer until their lips met in a deep, slow, passionate kiss. Her fingers tangled in his dark hair, and his own thumbs caressed the skin just underneath her ear lobes as they met in a glow of love, warmer and more real than any kiss they had exchanged in the past few days.

Zuko felt like he could cry out of his sheer joy, and when Mai finally broke the kiss, he could tell she was close herself too—her shining eyes and the wonderful pink blush on her face proved as much.

"What do you think?" She asked him in response to his question, and they fell into each other's arms for another kiss.


End file.
